Oh sure, it was fun spending, with wife Randy, 10 nights and 12 days in an all-inclusive Club Med-style resort with free ice water and unlimited I.V. drips. Let’s call it a “hospital.”
And it’ll be odd to not be able to just pick up the phone and order French Toast and Baked Lay’s. (Knowing full well they will somehow instead deliver Baked Toast and French Lay’s.)
But somehow we will proceed without a full staff of registered nurses, hospitalists and friendly floor moppers.
Back here at Apt. 1-B, I will be the hospitalist and floor mopper for a while. There will be caregiving ahead, but don’t worry, I have two allies: extra-strength Excederin and extra-strength Chardonnay.
It was roughly on the 7th day of this journey that Randy took a positive turn. ‘Til then, my poor, sweet wife was fighting a tick-born infection and its side effects – “Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever” isn’t just a John Denver song.
For days, she had but two modes: highly agitated alertness and a medicated, faraway fugue-state.
At about 10 a.m, I had just finished writing a long paragraph in my prayer journal. (Not a joke: I’ve been writing down prayers all my adult life, to good effect. I mean, I’m still here, right? And they’re still making Spider-Man movies?)
Anyway, at the end of the paragraph, I wrote the words, “Help me help this girl back.” I hit “save.”
Within two minutes, I heard her say, “I think I’m feeling better.”
Sure enough. She was smiling, sitting up in bed like Dorothy at the end of “Wizard of Oz.” (“And YOU were there! And YOU!”)
“Th… that’s good to hear,” I said, cautiously.
“In fact, I think I’ll get up and take a shower.” She hit the nurse call button.
“Eine gute idee.” (I’ve been talking German to her lately. Don’t ask me why.)
“Also, I’m starving.”
“Can you please go get me a Goodcents sandwich? I’ll have an 8-inch Italian on wheat, with Provolone, lettuce, oregano, and salt and pepper.”
“Could you be more specific?”
“And oil and vinegar.”
“You got it.”
“And Baked Lay’s.”
Again with the Baked Lay’s.
I’d like to say it was smooth sailing from there, but there were frustrating symptoms still to treat, such as a lingering headache: mine. (Just kidding.)
But today, a lovely Sunday, with the doctors in syzygy (“si-je-zee,” a term from my word-a-day calendar meaning celestial alignment) and souvenir shampoos in hand, home we were sent.
Your well-wishes and prayers helped do the trick, as well, and don’t think we don’t know it. So it is with great appreciation we toast you with… what else?
It’s 1899 and Dr. Devlin D’Abo (Walt Jaschek) believes he alone can lead the United State of America into the Twentieth Century. To help him take control of the federal government, D’Abo creates a weapon that will make his arm of desperadoes invisible. Only the Sons of the Saddle (Don Secrease, Rick Burchett, Bill Lux) stand between the mad doctor and his plan to unite western hemisphere under one supreme leader… D’Abo himself!
— From the DVD jacket for “Sons of the Saddle: The Invisible Rayders: Chapter 4: Doorway to Doom”
Writer/director Don Secrease (working under pseudonyms Sean Ryan and Manny Handz) was the creative force behind this amateur film and B-Western movie parody made by enthusiastic B-movie fans. As backstory, Don wrote the below…
This serial chapter of Sons of the Saddle’s “The Invisible Rayders” (chapter 4 “Doorway to Doom”) was made by a group of B-movie/serial fans for fun, to be shared by friends and family.
It was the summer of ’95, a few of us were discussing fan-made, straight-to-video movies, comparing good to bad, FX, etc., produced by Skeleton Creek Prod., W.A.V.E. Prod., B. Black’s Nightveil Media (its contemporary name.) These films were viewed, discussed, admired for their ingenuity and enthusiastic presentations.
Our ragtag team of B-movie aficionados decided to gather friends and family and create our own movie-making inadequacy.
We selected characters from our daily gag comic strip, “Sons of the Saddle,” wrote a 12-chapter serialized story, picked a random chapter, scripted it – then started rounding up the usual suspects – not to mention costuming, horses and tack.
All fell into place once we scouted our locations. Our major battles filming that summer: a Missouri heatwave, reliable video cameras and, finally, appropriate music. Since this was made for private amusement (or condemnation) and nor for sale, we picked background music from a few public-domain serials & B-westerns.
Ready for a new “Walt Talk?” Live on tape from his home-office in beautiful Ballwin, Missouri: a brief message from creative freelancer Walt J. about his upcoming guest-appearance at the “Be a Better Freelancer”® conference October 11th, 12th and 13th, 2019, at the Chase Park Plaza Hotel in St. Louis, Missouri, USA. Walt will be presenting to the assembled freelance writers and editors a topic suggested to him by the conference organizer. The topic: “You Oughta Be in Visuals: How to Make Your Social Sizzle to Be a Better Freelancer.” Walt says he looks forward to hearing exactly what he has to say about that topic… when he comes up with something… by October. Link to the conference: https://www.facebook.com/events/20043… Link to Ruth Thaler-Carter, the conference organizer: https://www.facebook.com/ruth.thalerc…
Walt is a writer (as Walt Jaschek) and a performer (as Walt Jay.) They’re both at work in this promo video, written by the former and presented on-screen by the later. 😉
Walt Jaschek gets killed by crazed miners in Colorado! Walt J the actor, that is. In one of his only film roles (so far,) Walt appeared as the doomed nebbish Harold Pilgrain in the 1984 indy action movie “Planet Gone Mad,” also known by its original title, “Spirits of Jupiter.” Filmed in and around Canon City, Colorado, the movie was directed by Russell S. Kern, with cinematography by Steve Flanigan. Hollywood stuntman Rex Cutter played the film’s hero, Big Jim Drill. Character actor Walt had a few scenes with Rex, his airplane, and the crazy miners who are compelled to kill. Walt did own stunts, including jumping out of that moving airplane, as you will see. Here are the full IMDB credits.
And now, that review.
“Jupiter Filled With Violence”
From the Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph, Friday, March 2, 1984
By Linda D. Smith GT Features Writer
CANON CITY – The residents of this city turned our Thursday night for the premiere of “Spirits of Jupiter,” a film starring many of their friends and neighbors.
Rocky Mountain Studios and Producers Group Ltd., a Colorado Springs production company, filmed the movie in Canon City and surrounding Fremont County last year, relying on the local residents for talent and local scenery for backdrops.
Written and directed by Russell S. Kern of Colorado Springs, “The Spirits of Jupiter” takes the predictions of 16th century philosopher Nostradamas and applies them to 1984. In particular, Kern has taken the idea if the planets Jupiter and Saturn were to align, the result would be a gravitational pull that would wreak havoc on the people of Earth.
The story line has given the film makers a great deal of latitude in creating a fill full of violence.
In one scene after another, viewers see a bloody headless corpse, a man’s eyeball ripped from the socket by a crazed dog, and friends turning against neighbors with guns, knives and meat cleavers.
The story follows mine owner Big Jim Drill, played by Rex Cutter, who is spared the ravages of the gravitational pull. His first interest is in keeping his mine open, until things get so out of hands, he becomes more concerned about the survival of his family. The movie is filled with some very colorful and talented characters, including a modern-day Nostradamas, played by Richard Luna, Drill’s airplane mechanic, portrayed by Cliff Willis, and the fidgety mine supervisor, played by Walter Jaschek.
The roles of Dril’s son and daughter and filled by two Colorado Springs residents. Handsome Chopper Burnet, a drama student at Colorado College, portrays Drill’s son Robert with a great deal of finesse. Carol Engel, a regular performer at the Iron Springs Chateau, plays Jennifer Drill.
And when it comes to villains, James Aerni’s portrayal of police chief Julius Switcher rivals any melodrama house in the area. In the movie, when Switcher first succumbs to the gravitational pull, he gets the most sinister gleam in his eye when he takes off his boot and begins playing a game of Russian roulette with his toes.
Steven R. Flanigan of Colorado Springs, who is the director photography, has made tremendous use of the Canon City area in filming “Spirits of Jupiter.” The action sequences are well done and use a variety of vehicles, from cars and motorcycles to airplanes and helicopters. But Flanigan is best in the aerial sequences, capturing the beautiful countryside on film. Thursday night’s audience at the Skyline Theatre in Canon City seemd to relish seeing themselves and their friends on the big screen.
Colorado Springs residents will get to see and critique the film at its only performance here, at 4:30 p.m. March 9 at the Cooper Theatre. Tickets are $4 in advance from Budget Tapes and Records, Independent Records, big Apple Tapes and Records, or at the door.
“SCENE!” So closes Level 1, my first-ever improv comedy class at the Improv Shop in St. Louis, an 8-week learning experience and personal stretch. Was it challenging to keep up with the keen, comic minds you see here? “Yes, and…”
(That’s me top row, center. And that’s instructor Ben Noble upper left. He’s amazing and this class is highly recommended.)
Here’s a short video of creator at large Walt Jaschek (aka Walt Now) and his wife, the funny and brilliant Randy Rosenbaum, enjoying a “Pre-Muny” picnic in St. Louis Forest Park on Randy’s birthday, June 24, 2019. Watch for the comical “chair fail” near the video’s end.
P.S. You don’t see as much of Randy as you should on this site, and Walt is going to change that.
Looking for 30-second radio ad script samples? Here are five 30-second scripts from my radio advertising portfolio, along with recorded spots for comparison. Hi. I’m Walt Jaschek, and I’ve been writing radio ad scripts for 40 years, which is amazing, considering I’m only 30 years old.
This site has many radio commercials, often funny, sometimes award-winning. There are 15 of them here: both 60-second and 30-second examples.
Culled from those are the below 30-second spots, so you can see and hear how I, as the writer, communicated to the reader (and producer) how the spot should “sound.” A radio spot is really only as good as the script. And the actors. And the producer. And the director. And clients courageous enough to do something beyond the boring ordinary.
30-second radio ad script, with recorded spot: “Phosphorus and Magnesium” For “Big Bang Theory.”
“Magnesium and Phosphorus” (AKA “Sheldon’s Burns”) 30-Second Radio Ad Script For: “The Big Bang Theory” Writer: Walt Jaschek
ANNOUNCER: Magnesum burns at 2,474 degrees Kelvin.
SOUND FX: CHERMICAL BURNING IN A LAB
ANNOUNCER: Phosphorus burns at 3,333 degrees Kelvin.
SOUND FX: CHERMICAL BURNING IN A LAB
ANNOUNCER: And Sheldon Cooper burns… five nights a week.
SHELDON COOPER: You bowl like your Mama… unless of course she bowls well… in which you bowl nothing like her!
ANNOUNCER: Ouch! On The Big Bang Theory, you draw Sheldon’s fire… you’re gonna get burned!
SHELDON COOPER: That’s what I call a burn on you!
MUSIC: BIg Bang theme, under
ANNOUNCER: The Big Bang Theory. Five nights a week.
30-second radio ad script sample, with recorded spot: “Put Your Tongue on the Radio” for “Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels”
30-Second Radio Ad Script Title: “Put Your Tongue On the Radio” For: Gene Simmons Family Jewels Writer: Walt Jaschek
ANNOUNCER: Put your tongue on the radio. (beat) Wait, that might be a little tingly. Ahem. Don’t put your tongue on the radio. But do stick your tongue out. That’s right. Keep going. There. Good. Wow, you have a long tongue! Congrats! But it’s all relative, baby, because, sorry, you have a teeny-weenie tongue compared to…
GENE SIMMONS: I’m Gene Simmons. Rock God.
SFX: CROWD CHEERS
MUSIC: ROCK KICKS IN
ANNOUNCER: It’s the rock-meets-reality show that licks ‘em all! Gene Simmons Family Jewels – Season 2 premiere! Starring the man who has more talent than you can shake a tongue at.
GENE SIMMONS: Precisely.
ANNOUNCER: Gene Simmons Family Jewels. A&E Sunday. Oh:
ANNOUNCER: Please put your tongue back in. The guy is the van is staring.
On a June 16, 2019 Fathers Day visit to Cape Albeon Senior Living , Walt Jaschek asked his 92-year-old Dad, Walter Jaschek Senior, to “SAY Happy Fathers Day” to the camera. When Walter Senior began to SING “Happy Fathers Day” instead, Walt and his wife Randy just went with it and started singing, too. Happy Fathers Day, everyone!
“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” is a 60-second, funny radio commercial, written by Walt Jaschek and produced by Paul Fey for Smartship.com. It stars Stewart Sloke as a caller to the hotline; turns out he’s very, very good at beating himself up. This spot also provides a good copywriting example; the script is below the video. Listen and enjoy.
“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” | :60 Radio | Script by Walt Jaschek
WORKER: Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline.
this Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline?
WORKER: Yes sir, if you’d like to beat yourself up, this is the place to do it.
I’d like to beat myself up now, please.
WORKER: Go right ahead when you’re ready.
[Ahem.] I am so stupid. I can’t believe how stupid I am. What an idiot. I left
all my holiday shipping until the last minute again. Now it’s a huge hassle.
Why do I have to do this to myself every year? When, oh when, will I learn?
(genuinely impressed): You beat yourself up very well sir.
HOTLINE WORKER: But maybe you should just go to smartship.com.
HOTLINE WORKER: Right. Type in your zip code, and smartship.com tells you the fastest, easiest, most affordable ways to do your holiday shipping, even at the last minute.
didn’t I like of that?
HOTLINE WORKER: Well…
CALLER: Why do
I have to have somebody else tell me what to do?
HOTLINE WORKER: Sir…
oh when, will I ever have an original idea?
HOTLINE WORKER: You are really good at this, sir.
been told it’s a gift.
Smartship.com. The way smart shipping is done.