Walt Jaschek IS Dr. D’abo IN “Sons of the Saddle” (1995) B-Western Movie Parody

Comic Movies, Videos, Walt Jaschek on Camera

It’s 1899 and Dr. Devlin D’Abo (Walt Jaschek) believes he alone can lead the United State of America into the Twentieth Century. To help him take control of the federal government, D’Abo creates a weapon that will make his arm of desperadoes invisible. Only the Sons of the Saddle (Don Secrease, Rick Burchett, Bill Lux) stand between the mad doctor and his plan to unite western hemisphere under one supreme leader… D’Abo himself!

— From the DVD jacket for “Sons of the Saddle: The Invisible Rayders: Chapter 4: Doorway to Doom”

Writer/director Don Secrease (working under pseudonyms Sean Ryan and Manny Handz) was the creative force behind this amateur film and B-Western movie parody made by enthusiastic B-movie fans. As backstory, Don wrote the below…

Abbreviated Backstory

This serial chapter of Sons of the Saddle’s “The Invisible Rayders” (chapter 4 “Doorway to Doom”) was made by a group of B-movie/serial fans for fun, to be shared by friends and family.

It was the summer of ’95, a few of us were discussing fan-made, straight-to-video movies, comparing good to bad, FX, etc., produced by Skeleton Creek Prod., W.A.V.E. Prod., B. Black’s Nightveil Media (its contemporary name.) These films were viewed, discussed, admired for their ingenuity and enthusiastic presentations.

Our ragtag team of B-movie aficionados decided to gather friends and family and create our own movie-making inadequacy.

We selected characters from our daily gag comic strip, “Sons of the Saddle,” wrote a 12-chapter serialized story, picked a random chapter, scripted it – then started rounding up the usual suspects – not to mention costuming, horses and tack.

All fell into place once we scouted our locations. Our major battles filming that summer: a Missouri heatwave, reliable video cameras and, finally, appropriate music. Since this was made for private amusement (or condemnation) and nor for sale, we picked background music from a few public-domain serials & B-westerns.

Enjoy!

Why we created the Herobots™: It begins with a bored boy…

Coloring Books, Creator-Owned, Herobots, Walt a Life

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By Walt Jaschek

When I approached ace St. Louis illustrators Don Secrease and Bill Lux for help in bringing to life The Herobots and launching the characters in a coloring and games book, I was thinking of a bored 6-year-old boy. And myself.

It started with a specific 6-year-old boy. A crabby, impatient, hungry one. I don’t know his name. But he was part of a big crowd enduring a long wait in the lobby of a pancake restaurant with his mother. He was squirming, and I could tell he was desperate for some stimulation, any stimulation. His mother didn’t engage him; didn’t hand him a pencil and paper; or even her phone. (I guess I should be happy about that part.)

I felt the restless boredom radiate out of this young man, and I immediately I wished I had on me a coloring book young kids might like, about, oh, say, superhero robot action figures. I wished I could also hand him some crayons and tell him to “have at.” (With Mom’s permission, of course.) I even had a name bouncing around my mind: the HEROBOTS.

A few months later, after great work by Don and Bill, working from a script by me, we sent to the printers Herobots Coloring and Games Book #1. Here’s the front cover…

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Here’s the back cover.herobots-backcover

Here are a few pages from the story-to-color. The Herobots are actually action figures, you see, by day, living on the shelf of Sally’s Comics and Toys store. 

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2009646_herobots-coloringbook2-int (1)_Page_13The plot thickens.

And yes, there are also games!

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The 48-page softcover is now available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, but it’s the stack of hard copies I keep on me at busy pancake restaurants that I value most. Because these are the copies I can hand…

…to give random, bored 6-year olds. Bless them. Because I am one of them. Always. It’s why I create, I think. Or at least why I created this video preview of the first few pages of the book. Warning: the narration is by me. (Which you can turn off — just watch the captions!)

So, you ask, is the Herobots Coloring and Games book selling on Amazon and Barnes and Noble? We wouldn’t say it’s selling like, well, pancakes. But we don’t mind. It’s that moment of handing one to a bored kid — for free — that makes up for it.

And speaking of free…

Here’s a FREE boredom-busting bonus!  With just a few clicks, parents of young readers and colorists can get FREE downloadable, printable coloring pages of the Herobots and their foes. Bots of fun for rainy days.

I like to imagine a restless 6-year-old being a little less bored now.

At least for a while.

Walt Jaschek home

Free, Downloadable Coloring Pages of the Herobots™: Superhero Robots and Dinosaurs

Coloring Books, Coloring Pages, Creator-Owned, Herobots
Video preview of the Herobots Coloring and Games Book

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Walt Jaschek and Don Secrease offer free, downloadable coloring pages of superhero robots: the stars of the Herobots Coloring and Games Book #1. Below, you’ll see the three Herobots  — Props, Wheely and Fynn — along with their foes, TREX and the Terrobot. Want to download any and all for the young colorist in your life? Just drag the image to your desktop, click on it, and hit “print.”

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Want more Herobots action? Take a look at the Herobots Coloring and Games Book, for young readers, on sale on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble

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 They are the Herobots! They’re bots of fun!

(P.S. Read about WHY we created the Herobots. It begins with a bored boy…)

S

 

 

Golden Adventures of Brett Hull: Issue 1 of 3

Branded Entertainment, Comic Writing, Concepting and Copywriting

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Golden Adventures of Brett Hull #1: “Slap Shot to Destiny.” Publisher: The Patrick Company. Agency: Hinkle & Company. Writer: Walt Jaschek and Brock Hanke. Artists: Don Secrease, Bill Lux, Rick Burchett, Bill Vann. (Full credits and backstory here.) Below are the interior spreads! Enjoy this journey back to St. Louis, 1994. “Hold on to your seats, Blues fans,” the story begins. “We’ve got some kind of hockey game here at the Kiel Center tonight…”

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To be continued in Issue #2: “Power Play: 2094!” (Read it now.)

Series backstory and full credits | Walt Jaschek home

Here’s the 1994 TV spot promoting the release of these comics. Cool work by The Patrick Company.

Golden Adventures of Brett Hull: Issue 2 of 3

Branded Entertainment, Comic Writing, Comics, Concepting and Copywriting

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“Golden Adventures of Brett Hull” Issue #2: “Power Play: 2094” | Continued from Issue #1 | Publisher: The Patrick Company. Agency: Hinkle & Company. Writers: Walt Jaschek and Brock Hanke. Artists: Don Secrease, Rick Burchett, Bill Lux and Bill Vann. 
Read the series backstory and full credits

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To be continued in Issue #3: “Sudden Death Overtime!”

Go back to Issue #1 | Read the series backstory and full credits | Walt Jaschek home

These comics were unveiled in this 1994 TV commercial starring Brett Hull, produced by The Patrick Company.

Subscribe to Walt’s YouTube channel

Golden Adventures of Brett Hull: Issue 3 of 3

Branded Entertainment, Comic Writing, Comics, Concepting and Copywriting

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Issue #3: “Sudden Death Overtime!” | Continued from Issue #1
Published by the Patrick Company. Art Agency: Hinkle & Company. Writer: Walt Jaschek. Artists: Don Secrease, Rick Burchett, Bill Lux, Bill Vann. Read series backstory and full credits

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Read issue #1: “Slap-Shot to Destiny!” | Read Issue #2: “Power Play: 2094!” | Read series backstory and full credits | Walt Jaschek home

TV commercial unveiling these comics, starring Brett Hull, produced by The Patrick Company.

Subscribe to Walt’s YouTube Channel.

“Ned and the Nude” | Funny Spec Simpsons™ Comic About Nudity, Nakedness and Embarrassment

Comic Writing, Comics, Funny Stuff, Simpsons, Spec
Mr. Skin

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Enjoy? Like or comment below. Thanks!

Can a Simpsons™ character handle full-frontal nudity? Even in the name of art? This 6-page “Ned and the Nude” comic by Walt Jaschek, Don Secrease and Bill Lux was created as an audition for a gig at Bongo, publisher of the Simpsons comicbook. It’s a tale about nudity in art and America’s queasiness about that. It’s also a silly Ned Flanders solo story. Simpsons are © 20th Century Fox. Created by Matt Groening. (Props 4ever, Matt.)

You can also read Walt’s naked script for this comic below — if you want to see how his brain works (and/or you’d like to hire him to write a comic.)

COMIC SCRIPT
“NED AND THE NUDE”

The Simpsons
Writer: Walt Jaschek

PAGE 1

Full-page splash.  In the foreground is a cute, female ART MODEL, her back to us, her head turned so we can see her face.  She is very, very NUDE.  One long arm thrusts out and bends back to her hip.  Framed in the space between her arm and body is our hero, NED FLANDERS.  He is sweating.  With one hand, he tugs at his pink collar. With the other, he hold a paint brush up to an canvas on an easel.  But the paint is dripping and smearing: he just can’t focus!

CUTE MODEL:  What’s WRONG, Mr. Flanders?

CUTE MODEL 2: Why won’t you…

CUTE MODEL 3: PAINT me?

FLANDERS 1: Well, I… [GULP!]

FLANDERS (thought 1:) Great gobs of GIDDY-GOO, man!

FLANDERS (thought 2:) Get a ho-ho-HOLD of yourself!

STORY TITLE:  NED AND THE NUDE

END PAGE 1

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 2

1 – A classroom.  From behind Ned. Across the room, the silhouette of the model, her hands on her hips.  Ned is turning to look up — there’s a hand on Ned’s shoulder. And a cigarette burning from the hand!

Voice (from off): YES, Ned. You do seem a little… “UPTIGHT.”

2 – Reveal: Marge’s sister Selma. She is chain smoking, pontificating like a self-important teacher.  Because in this class — she is!

Selma: STUDENTS!  Did I not LECTURE this class on the need for a true NUDE FIGURE ARTIST to let GO!…

Selma 2: GO!…

Selma 3: [[cough!]]

Selma 4: GO?

3 – A three-shot. Ned, at his easel. On the left, a little behind: Marge, also painting at an easel. On the right, also a little behind: Barney.

Ned: Oh GOSH, Selma!  You’re the best darn ADULT EDUCATION ART TEACHER here at EAST-LOWER SPRINGFIELD JUNIOR HIGH!

Ned: It’s JUST that…WELL…

4 – CU of Selma, scowling.

Selma: WHAT, Ned? WHAT?

5 – A shot past the model as Ned leaps up from the easel — he uses one hand to cover his eyes. With his other, he points to the model.  He can contain himself no longer.

Ned (yelling): The HUMAN BODY is OBSCENE!

NED (yelling 2):  And LOOKING at it is a mortal SIN so SEVERE it’ll yank your SPLEEN out!!!!

6 – 2-shot. Ned is artificially calm now, grinning sheepishly at Selma and making a circular gesture with his hand just above the surface of his canvas.

NED: Plus, I’d feel better with more time for the “UNDER-DRAWING.”

SELMA:  Grr!

END PAGE 2

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 3

1- Exterior shot of East-Lower Springfield Junior High.

SELMA (from within): Are you GETTING this, class?

SELMA (from within): Ned is EMBARASSED — by THIS!

2- In foreground, Selma gesturing to the tableau behind her. The beautiful, nude model. Holy cow! She looks like Britney Spears! With gigantic bosoms! And this is no normal pose: she’s holding a whip! While sucking on lollipop. Wearing (as it turns out) fishnets! About to get into a bathtub! While a fan blows her big hair.  In other words, a bunch of obvious cheesecake cliches.

(Selma’s word balloons hide the model’s naughtier bits.)

SELMA:  Merely by THIS:

SELMA 2:  A completely NATURAL, NORMAL BODY…

SELMA 3: …in a completely NEUTRAL POSE!

3- Selma leans in to taunt Ned. He holds his head in his hands.

SELMA (whispering): Is it because she looks like BRATNEY SPHERES?

NED: SWEET LORD IN HEAVEN! YES!

4 – Selma tosses the nude model a robe.

SELMA: ACHTUNG, my so-called “ARTISTS!”

SELMA 2: When deconstructing the NUDE…

5 – Selma dramatically pulls the straps of her Moo-Moo from her shoulders.

SELMA:  You must DIVORCE yourself from POP CULTURE CONTEXT!

6 – Floor level shot, past Selma’s disturbing, naked legs. The Moo-Moo is bundled at her feet. And in the background, our cast so far (Marge, Smithers, Barney) gasps in horror.

SELMA: (from above:) And THINK only…

SELMA 2: SEE only…

SELMA 3:  (Yelling):  MASS!!!

END OF PAGE 3

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 4

1- Same exterior shot as panel 1 on previous page. But now legions are running out the front door, still wearing paint smocks, paint hats, and wielding wet brushes. Who do we see here? How about… Chief Wiggums, Doctor Hibbard, and Apu…

GROUP SCREAM: AAAAAAAAAAAA!

2- Back inside. Ned and Selma. Ned is holding two thick paint brushes covering his eyes so he can’t see. Selma is putting her Moo-Moo back on.

SELMA: Yeah, this won’t work EITHER, Ned.

SELMA 2: We need a QUORUM to meet MODEL FFES.

NED:  [WHINE]

3 – Cut to: another part of the room. WILLIE, the Scottish groundskeeper at Springfield Elementary, is… ripping off his shirt! He’s really buff — super-hero buff! And he’s coming right at us!

WILLIE: HOW about THIS, Flanders…

WILLIE 2:  …ye wee bit o’ POOFY-BOY?

SELMA (from off):  WILLIE!?

4- Willie has pulled his pants off one muscuar leg, and has the other muscular leg in the air, pulling the pants from it. Flanders and Selma look on, amazed.

WILLIE: AYE!

SELMA: !?

NED:  EEK!

5 – Willie, lying on his side now on the model platform.  We’re looking past Selma now, and only her arm and lit cigarette hide his nether-regions.

WILLIE:  If it’s a BODY divorced of CONTEXT ye be needin’, PANSY-painters…

WILLIE 2: Grab y’r tubes of YELLOW OOOOCHRA…and HAV’ AT!

6 – CLOSE-UP OF NED.  He is holding two paintbrushes in the sign of the cross, as if stopping a vampire.

NED: No! NO! I won’t rendereth WILLIE, EITHER!

END PAGE 4

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 5

1- Ned points to his own booty as Selma his fellow artists look on.

NED: I can’t gaze upon ANY “BOO-TAY” that’s not in its God-given GARMENTS!

MARGE: But NED…

2 – Two-shot. Marge and Barney in front of their easels.

MARGE: THEN you won’t PASS the CLASS!

BARNEY: Yeah! And you’ll be doomed to REPEAT it FOR-EVER!

BARNEY 2: Like ME!

3- Ned consults a huge, 3-inch thick catalog, which he evidentally carries with him. On the cover: SPRINGFIELD ADULT EDUCATION / SPRING “SEMESTER”

NED: B… But I NEED to pass!

NED: It’s REQUIRED for admittance to ART 199:

NED: “The Art Of The FAMILY CIRCUS!”

4 – Ned is on his knees, burying his face in folds of Selma’s Moo-Moo.

NED: PLEASE, Selma — Is there ANYTHING I can DO to PASS…

NED: …that DOESN’T involve PAINTING the PANTSLESS?

5 – Selma puffs out a smoke ring and Flanders stares hopefully through it.

SELMA: WEEEELL — I can think of ONE “academic OUT.”

SELMA: It’s not really FAIR…

SELMA: …but it doesn’t break any COMMANDMENTS!

6 – Close-up of Ned, fists clenched, delighted.

NED:  I’LL DO IT!

END PAGE 5

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

PAGE 6

Full-page panel. Taking up most of this panel is the nude figure of … NED HIMSELF! He is standing on one foot. The other foot is cupped in one hand, and the leg is bent accordlingly. . The other hand is behind his neck. He is contorted… and content. He looks almost like a human ice swan. And he has a rose in his teeth!

NED (thinking 1): SAY…THIS isn’t so bad!

NED (thinking 2):I guess if I can’t MAKE art — I can BE art!

NED (thinking 3):I feel so…LIBERATED!  So LOOSE! So…FREE! But then…

NED (thinking 4):That could just be the BREEZE!

And, looking past Ned, in a small horizontal group shot at the bottom of the panel, simultaneously reacting to this pose, is…

SELMA (pleased, framing him with her hands): FREEZE, you gorgeous MAN-CHILD!

MARGE: GASP!

BARNEY: NICE!

WILLIE: ACH!

SMITHERS (thinking):  C’MAGNIFIQUE!

CAPTION:  THE “END”

See more comics by Walt Jaschek | Read about Walt

Enjoy? Like or comment below. Thanks!

Mr. Skin
In real life, Walt wrote a funny radio commercial promoting The Simpsons TV series. Take a listen.

St. Louis Comic Creators Invade St. Louis Bread Company

Collaborators, Comics, Walt a Life

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A crazy, creative, collaborative crew. I am blessed to have incredibly talented artists as co-creators and friends here in St. Louis. Tonight wife Randy and I joined some of them for brainstorming, project development, catching up, and eating. Of course, eating! It was a Bread Company, after all, and bonus: we used a Panera Bread Gift Card, so we were golden.

Going around the table, counter-clockwise:

Kimberly Austin Daly, artist of the charming and delicate and delightful, wife of Paul Daly (we’ll get to him.)

Rick Burchett, Eisner-winning artist of Batman Adventures; co-artist of The Death of Superman; current artist on the Funky Winkerbean comic strip; and artist on the I-hope-gets-completed (some day) true “Help” story.

Randy Rosenbaum, artist with food; my wife; and fellow adventure-seeker on my blog, Walt A Life.

Walt Jaschek, writer of all this stuff, and then some.

Jeff Weigel, current artist on the Sunday Phantom comic strip; creator of the Dragon Girl graphic novel and The Sphinx; and many more amazing comics-related wonders.

Sam Maronie, long-time pop culture journalist and author of Tripping Through Pop-Culture!: (Mis) Adventures of an Entertainment Writer. Sam is leaving St. Louis for life in Columbus, Ohio! We miss you already, Sam.

Don Secrease, co-creator (with me) of Mel Cool: Mall Cop®: Comics, the Herobots Coloring & Games Book and newly-launched Terranauts 2020; artist on our Brett Hull comicbook series; and owner of the eBay store Pop’s Culture.

Lorenzo Lizana, creator of Scarab; comic convention sketch artist extraordinaire; and collaborator with me on a project so secret, he doesn’t even know what it is yet.

Paul Daly, artist of Julie Walker is The Phantom; pencil artist of the splash page of Terranauts 2020; artist of Recycled Man (both written by me); and fan-favorite artist on his own amazing properties, which you’ll experience soon.

P.S. Some of the comics and books mentioned above are on Amazon. Like these:

            

See you all again soon, artist friends! Typing… scripts… fast… as I… can…

Walt Jaschek

Terranauts: “The Call of Cold, Dark Places.” Page 1 art — and Walt’s script

Comic Writing, Comics, In-Progress, Process Posts

Happy to report I’m writing adventure comics again! Just completed a script (scroll to see it) for a deep-diving tale of The Terranauts, the team created by Paul Daly and Don Secrease. Splash page complete. What new menace taunts the ‘nauts? We’ll find out — in a cold, dark place.

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Credits on this page: Pencils by Paul Daly. A great composition meticulously realized. Coloring by Don Secrease. Masterful. Look at that water. Copy and inks by me. (Yeah, inks, too. “Walt Jaschek inking” is not something you usually see in any reasonable reality. But I wanted to try it. Let me tell you, inking Paul’s beautiful pencils is daunting. Fun, but daunting. Also, now my carpel tunnel has carpet tunnel.)

Here’s the fully inked page, just before I sent it to Don to do his amazing color stuff.

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Bonus! Here is the 

SCRIPT

TERRANAUTS 2020
“CALL OF COLD DARK, PLACES”
8-Pager
Script by Walt Jaschek

++++++ SPLASH ++++++

CAPTION: In the middle of the Aegean, we locate the anomaly.

CAPTION: We are warned it will sense us.

CAPTION: And will not be friendly.

CAPTION: But we are…

[LOGO] TERRANAUTS 2020

CAPTION: So we dive.

++++++ PAGE 2 ++++++

PANEL 1

A hero shot. Under the surface as Adam and Maria complete the dive, each arcing upward to stabilize, a trail of bubbles indicating their trajectory.

SFX: KER-SPLASH!

ADAM: Read me, Connie?

MARIA: Si, Adam. It’s as if we’re in the same ocean.

ADAM: Very funny, Terranaut.

ADAM: Propulsion mode.

PANEL 2

Having stabilized after the jump, Adam and Maria have activated the propulsion packs: they are jetting swiftly through the water in a downward diagonal,

ADAM: How ‘bout the ship? You with us, Harry?

HARRY (from off): With you and remind you…

PANEL 3

Back in the ship, Harry is standing with his walker, but is surrounded by sensors and screens and sonar, some of which are hologram projections.

HARRY: The sentient is self-replicating.

HARRY: It doubles in size every 6 hours…

HARRY: …along the top of a seamount ridge…

PANEL 4

Close on Maria as, through her mask, her eyes go big. She sees something.

HARRY (through transmitter): …close to surface.

Maria: Madre de Dios!

PANEL 5

In the foreground, a jagged “arm” of ice, coming from bottom right corner of panel and seeming to reach out like a warning finger to our oncoming divers in the distance.

And in alien letters and/or alien balloon, the word: S T O P

++++ PAGE 2 ++++

PANEL 1

And there is the creature in full, as seen by our divers in foreground. They are about a mile away. The creature is a huge, octopus-shaped alien crystal. It sits atop a mountain in a mid-ocean ridge. Gigantic tentacles are growing down the side of the rigge and into the surrounding ocean. It’s half holding on. And half spreading out.

Near the the top of this icy mass a “face” has formed, chunks forming brow and dark holes in the ice forming “eyes.” At the moment, the face is glowering..

Alien balloon: G O A W A Y

PANEL 2

ADAM: Getting this, Harry?

HARRY: Threat projections.

HARRY: Translated by your partner’s telepathy.

PANEL 3

Adam turns to look Maria in the eye, through his goggles and hers.

ADAM: You heard him, Connie. You’re our conduit.

ADAM: Can you get in there

ADMA: And read its “mind”?

PANEL 4

Maria is “floating” in an all-white panel with no background, to suggest she is in some other place, some netherworld of telepathy. She has her hand to her temple, reading incoming signals.

MARIA: Memory synapsis evasive…

MARIA: Like static…

MARIA: Wait… I have something…

PANEL 5

Outer space. Earth a blue ball in background. A huge comet is hurling in blackness, rocky, irregular, minerals in catching distant sunlight. But attached to the bottom is of the comet much, much smaller version of our creature, an irregular mass of icy lichen on a rock. A piece of it, though, is tugging away.

MARIA (from off): It was using a comet…

MARIA: (from off): As habitat.

MARIA: (from off): On a near-Earth pass…

MARIA: (from off): It tore itself off.

++++ PAGE 4 ++++

PANEL 1

Long shot as the creature crashes hard into the ocean, speed lines indicating its trajectory, a circle of waves where it hits.

MARIA (from off): After eons inert, all it needed was…

PANEL 2

Back in the ship, Harry has taken off his glasses and is holding the bridge of his nose with his fingers. A realization is sinking in.

HARRY: Something to drink.

PANEL 3

As close as we’ve been on the creature yet. We can see its whole “face.” And its “scrowl” is deep.

ALIEN: I DRINK.

ALIEN: I GROW.

ALIEN: I TURN YOUR SEAS…

ALIEN: INTO ME.

PANEL 4

Maria and Adam are jetting through a “cave” – AKA a hole — at the edge of a tentacle. Maria is shining a light into the foreground, where we see floating dead fish and brown, limp sea plants, and a murk of grey gasses.

MARIA: Not good, Adam.

MARIA: Whatever alien chemical stew it’s excreting…

MARIA: …is killing sea life for kilometers.

ADAM: Roger that. “Sentient bad.”

PANEL 5

Adam presses down one of the buttons that make up a grid of rectangles on his high-tech band on his wrist. The button he’s pushing is green.

ADAM: But as I’m sure Harry would agree:

ADAM: “Sentient” does not equal “smart.”

++++++

PAGE 5

PANEL 1

In the ship, Harry is looking at a looking at a screen. It shows a large panel opening at the bottom of the ship. Emerging from the panel are five, high-tech harpoons, pointed down, ready to be launched.

HARRY: It does not.

PANEL 1-A, small inset panel. Closer on the screenshot of the harpoons. Words appear over picture: HARPOONS BOOTING

PANEL 2

Wider shot as Maria and Adam make a loop around a tentacles and shoot off in the opposite direction, away from the creature.

ADAM: Yo, cranky alien! Ever heard of the internet?


You should have used it to search… 

“Where Not to Breed Underwater.”

PANEL 3

The creature squints, trying to understand.

 ADAM (from off): Top answer:

ADAM (from off): “Above a Geothermic Vent.”

PANEL 5

Adam and Maria are booking out of there, full propulsion speed, diagonally up and away.

CAPTION: They’re all over the ocean floor.

CAPTION: Temps up to 3000 degrees Celcius.

PAGE 6

PANEL 1

Looking up at bottom of the ship. The panel is fully open and the harpoons have been fired. They’re raining down on us.

CAPTION: The vents it’s sitting on have been clogged for a while.

PANEL 2

The high-tech harpoons shoot through the surface of the ocean.

CAPTION: We’re the plumbers.

PANEL 3

Harpoons penetrate the surface of the ocean

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

PANEL 4

Alien: M I S S E D

PANEL 5

Unclogged, the geothermic vents turn into geysers of super-hot water. All around the geysers, the tentacles of the creature are instantly melting and dissolving.

ADAM (from off) Didn’t. 

PAGE 7

PANEL 1

The face of the creature as it knows it is doomed. Already the ice of its face is melting and dissolving into streams shooting upward with the hot water.

ALIEN BALLOON: [SCREAMS WHILE DISSOLVING]: AAAA

PANEL 2

ALIEN BALLOON (GETTING SMALLER WHILE THE LIST OF LETTERS GETS LONGER):   AAAAAAA

PANEL 3

ALIEN BALLOON (GETTING SMALLER WHILE THE LIST OF LETTERS GETS LONGER):   AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

PANEL 4

Now back outside: long shot of the ocean as seen from the ship. A mile or so away, globules of dissolving creature are sending up wide showers of steam. A piece of the ship in foreground suggests scale and distance.

No copy

PANEL 5

Inside the ship, Harry is looking very closely at a censor and tapping on it as he does so.

HARRY: 99.9% decrease in sentience.

ADAM (communicator balloon): Not 100?

HARRY: 1% margin of error.

SFX (as Harry taps on censor screen) TAP TAP TAP

ADAM (communicator balloon): Well, I’ll round up and call that…

PAGE 8

PANEL 1

The surface of the ocean. The large raft we saw hanging from the ship is now floating on the surface, waiting, stocked with containers for food and dry supplies. On either side, rope ladders. A dripping wet Adam and Maria are climbing the ladders and climbing into the raft. The sun is low in the sky.

ADAM: …“mission accomplished.”

MARIA (a disappointed grunt): Hurmph.

PANEL 2

Maria pulls off her hood and goggles: we are seeing her face full for the first time. She is looking at Harry pointedly.

MARIA: Shortest. Mission. Ever.

PANEL 3

Reverse angle looking at Adam as he removes hood and goggles, too. Also, in the background, the silhouette of the hovering ship against the late afternoon sun. (A silhouette to save you from drawing those details.) Its presence subtly underscores what Adam is saying.

ADAM: Be thankful, Terranaut.

ADAM: They get longer.

PANEL 4

Maria hugs herself, shoulders hunched, cold. Her wetsuit is now slighting zipped open at the neck, revealing a small crucifix necklace. Adam is reaching out to her, handing her the cup from atop a Terranauts-branded thermos. It steams with a hot beverage.

MARIA: And I’m still cold.

ADAM: Warm your core, Maria Consuela Santos…

PANEL 5

Deep down below. A tiny chunk of the creature, sinking even farther into the crevices of the ocean. A stream of bubbles follows it down. It is breathing.

ADAM: “They also get colder.”

End of script

 Update: Read the finished, full-color comic now!

Walt Jaschek likes spending time in warm, bright places.