Walt’s Brainstorm Process: “What Would Winona Want?”

Pssst! Someone’s missing from our messaging meetings. Not Marissa. She’s still at lunch with the client. Good. Not Marv. He’s under his headphones. Let him be.

The missing person is­­­­­­ our prospect.

That’s “prospect,” singular, not “prospects,” plural, nor (ugh) “target audience.” F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “Begin with an individual, and you find that you have created a type; begin with a type, and you find that you have created… nothing.”

An individual prospect should be present in all messaging meetings — not physically, fun as that would be — but virtually. If we don’t have research, qualitative and quantitative, then the prospect P.O.V. can be represented via a unique scientific innovation I call “best guess.”

It starts like this. On the whiteboard I draw a cartoon figure of the prospect, give that “person” a name, because a real name invokes a real conversation, and for the sake of this post, let’s call “her” “Winona,” and if that name invokes a certain film actress, well, pure coincidence. (Paid stock photo above notwithstanding.)

Then we as a group look at the cartoon avatar and list a few things we “know” about this person. Often, participants in the session can be effortlessly, ridiculously specific, because they often actually know, In Real Life, an individual prospect: “She loves her new Tesla.” “She only drinks reds.” “She probably has never heard of our product.”

These avatars, then, “participate” in the brainstorm, as we channel their reactions to our messaging ideas. When someone takes a stab at a differentiator – “our people make the difference” – we toss that to Winona. Maybe she agrees; maybe she calls “B.S.” But at some ideas, she smiles, and I draw the smile. The ones we feel she truly “gets” are usually more relevant, more authentic, and, praise Odin, less complex.

About that, a great book called Simple: Conquering the Crisis of Complexity, by Alan Siegel and Irene Etzkorn, says this:

“Complexity is a coward’s way out. There is nothing simple about simplicity, and achieving it requires empathizing (by perceiving others’ needs and expectations), distilling (by reducing to its essence the substance of one’s offer) and clarifying (by making the offer easier to understand and use).”

Hmmm. That’s a lot of parentheses for a paragraph about simplicity. But of course I believe they’re right. And I believe the mission of message strategists is not to make our product or service understandable. It’s to make our prospect feel understood.

And at that, look: Winona smiles!

To engage Walt Jaschek to lead or participate in a prospect-channeling whiteboard session, use this contact form, or ask Winona to ask him to call you.

14 Funny Radio Ad Examples to Amuse, Inspire

Turn up your volume for 14 great radio ad examples, written by Walt and produced by Paul Fey, the dynamic radio team known as Paul & Walt Worldwide.

Funny radio commercials: Beloved. Effective. Memorable.

Funny radio adverts will make audiences fall in love with your brand. Whether or Pandora, Spotfiy, podcast or terrestial radio, well-written and well-produced comedy spots get heard, get remembered, and get results. The best radio creative makes buying radio time so worth it, and bonus: it improves the overall radio listening experience. 

If you’re in the advertising, TV promotion or radio biz, we hope our award-winning scripts and spot serve as helpful, inspiring examples of the best radio copywriting, voice acting and production. If you just love funny audio, we get that, too. (Paul is now at World Wide Wadio and Walt has a YouTube channel dedicated to this stuff.)

Ways to enjoy and study these radio ad examples:

(1.) You can settle in with this uninterrupted compilation video of all 14 of our funny radio ad examples – just click, sit back and enjoy as the funny flows.

Or (2.) you can scroll down to the individual funny radio commercial titles and descriptions, and follow links to the corresponding script examples here on this site.

Ready, set, play!

From “Missing Persons” to “Vibrating Water Bed” – 15 funny radio commercials back-to-back. You will laugh, guaranteed. Let them pour over you.

Watch on YouTube

See also on this site: 30-second Radio Ad Script Examples


Individual Funny Radio Spots

Funny radio commercial #1: “Robert Goulet” for The Simpsons


Winner, $20,000 Mercury Award for Radio Humor. Starring the late, great singer/orator Robert Goulet as himself. Technique: a funny list structure, contrasting a serious, somber voice to the cartoon character’s juvenile, sarcastic sayings. Opening line: “And now, Mr. Goulet reads from the writings of Bart, the collected, after-school blackboard writings of young Bart Simpson.” Read the script.

Funny radio commercial #2: “Missing Persons” for Matlock

Winner, Clio Award for “Best Radio Copywriting.” Winner, National Addy Award. Technique: funny dialogue and theatre of the mind to demonstrate fan devotion. The staccato dialogue was written in the style of Jack Webb’s “Dragnet,” with the added benefit of the built-in repetition. Don’t miss the great sound design of the goofy caller walking down the hall and back. That’s radio, baby! Key line: “My wife is missing.” Read the script.

Radio writers: the “Missing Persons” commercial is a good example of the copywriting tip, “Keep one feature or benefit to a spot.” To illustrate: after listening, can you name what time Matlock is on?

Funny radio commercial #3 and #4: “Laugh Catalog 1 & 2” for George Schlatter’s Comedy Club

Winner, Clio Award for “Best Use of Sound.” Technique: “list” structure and contagious sounds of laughter. This video also contains the sequel, “Laugh Catalog 2.” Bonus trivia: these spots represent two of the first creative collaborations between writer Walt Jaschek and producer Paul Fey. When Walt heard the incredible sound design Paul and engineer Bill Schulenberg brought to the spots, he thought, “This radio thing. We might be onto something here.” Key line from the spot: “Guffaw With Wheeze.” Read the script.

Funny Radio Commercial #5: “Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” for Smartship.com

Winner, National and Regional Addy Awards. Technique: funny dialogue and very human, relatable self-recrimination. (“I am so stupid! I can’t believe how stupid I am!” The spot imagines a call-in hotline for just such a thing. This spot is one of the most listened to and liked radio commercials on our YouTube channel. Maybe’s it’s biceps on the guy in the thumbnail? Key lines: “Wow, you beat yourself up very well, sir.” “Thanks!” Hear the spot, read the script.

Funny Radio Commercial #6: “Cellular Guy” for Southwestern Bell Mobile Systems

Winner, National Addy Award, Radio. Clio Award, Best Radio Copywriting. Technique: “quick cut” structure of comic one-liners. This is a technique Paul and Walt used many times throughout the years: Walt loves it because “it’s sort of like writing a stand-up set.” Also note the slight self-deprecating attitude the client allowed. Very rare these days. Key line: “Southwestern Bell Mobile is trouble-free. But then, trouble is always free.” Hear the spot and read script. 

Funny Radio Commercial #7: The Ballad of Judge Wapner” for The People’s Court

Winner, Promax Muse Award and a National Addy Award. Technique: music parody with lots of internal rhymes and inside-joke show references. It’s a spoken-word “ballad” honoring pop culture icon Judge Jospeh Wapner, original judge on the TV series “The People’s Court.” Come on: are there funnier songs about reality TV? Key line: “He talks and he laughs / his voice full of gravel, but the bad guys just gasp / when he bangs his big gavel.”  Hear the spot, read the script.

Funny Radio Commercial #8: “Viva La Volvo” for Volvo

Winner of a National Addy Award.  Technique: quick cuts of relatable, comic one-liners with rocking, musical “black-outs.” This is another of the stand-up-comedy-style  spots polished by Paul & Walt, as heard in the Southwestern Bell Mobile Systems spot above. This time our droll wit is a woman and fierce Volvo lover. Key line: “A friend of mine asked me to tell him about my Volvo. ‘Hey,’ I said, “That’s just between me and my gynecologist.,”  Hear the spot, read the script.

Funny Radio Commercial #9: “Star-In-Your Own Radio Commercial” for Budweiser

Technique: funny dialogue, theatre of the mind, and a “game” of listener participation.(“Whenever you hear this sound – DING! – insert your name.”) The target audience of this spot is men, but we wrote a version for women with the roles reversed. Key line: “Sometimes there aren’t enough hours in the day to be a neurosurgeon AND a swimwear model.” Tell us about it. Hear the spot, read the script..

Funny Radio Commercial #10: “Put Your Tongue on the Radio” for Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels

Techniques: theatre of the mind and a “game” of listener participation. A little bit of outrageousness to match the personality of the star. Gene Simmons is the founder of Kiss and star of the “Family Jewels” family reality TV series on A&E. He’s also famous in rock culture for having a verrrrrry long tongue. Hence the inspiration for this tongue-focused spot. Key line: “It’s the rock-meets-reality TV series that licks them all.”  Hear the spot, read the script.

Funny Radio Commercial #11: “I’m Shaving My Head!” For Star: Trek the Next Generation.

National Addy Award winner. Technique: parody of fan/cult behavior to express popularity of show. This spot, part of an entire “Shaving My Head” campaign, was reimagined by Channel 6 Miami into a very funny TV commercial with people all over South Florida shaving, what else, their heads. Key line: “I’m shaving my head!” Hear the spot, read the script..

Funny Radio Commercial #12: “Mister Rippemoff” for NewsCenter 7 Wastebusters

Winner, Promax Award for local news promo. Technique: funny dialogue and theatre of the mind. A corrupt businessman gets a visit from NewsCenter 7 Wastebusters, and he has only one option. (Yes, that’s Walt standing in for Mister Rippemoff, above.) Key line: “Tell them I went out my window, down the fire escape, and booked down the street screaming like a madman.” Hear the spot, read the script.

Funny Radio Commercial #13: “Vibrating Water Bed” for Jeopardy Tournament of Champions

Promax Award for syndicated TV promo. Technique: funny dialogue, theatre of the mind, funny sound effects. This spot, one of a series of “Larry and LaVerne” commercials created by Paul & Walt for Jeopardy and its distributor, King World, featured very funny performances by legendary comedians Lorenzo Music and Patti Deutsch. Hear the spot, read the script.

Funny Radio Commercial #14: “Albert Einstein” for CreativeWorks

Technique: funny dialogue; use of historical figure of import and intellectual capacity to contrast the simplicity of the offer. In it, “Dr. Albert Einstein” announces he’s working on a “brand new theory,” but is looking for help in “marketing” it. He’s pointed to CreativeWorks, a “one-stop shop for marketing solutions.” “Even for a genius?,” the good doctor asks. “Especially for a genius,” he is reassured. A couple of funny actors having a good time with this one! Hear the spot, read the script.

See also:

30-Second Radio Ad Script Examples

Talk :30 to Me for Full, Turnkey Radio Production

Walt’s YouTube Channel of Comedy

Bonus: Press Coverage of Funny Radio Commercials

Here are links to a few articles in the media by others about funny radio commercials: their creation, their effectiveness, and their role in the media. If you are an advertiser, a copywriter, or a student of funny radio adverts, they might give you additional perspective on the importance and impact of well-written and well-produced audio ads in marketing and pop culture.

Radio’s Word Magic | Colorado Springs Sun, 1983

Positioning + Creativity + Guts = Success | Colorado Springs Business Journal, 1984

Freelance Writer Steals Show | St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 1989

St. Louis V.I.P.: Jaschek Wins With Humor | Advertising Age, 1989

Walt Jaschek and His Basement Humor | St. Louis Business Journal, 1991

Paul & Walt Worldwide Converting Ears to Eyes | Call Letters Magazine

The Men Behind Radio’s Zany Commercials | Radio World, 1993

Southtown Resident Generates Worldwide Laughs | Southtown Word, 1994

One-Minute Jesters Court Laughs and Listeners | Los Angeles Radio Guide, 1994

Paul & Walt Help CBS-TV to Fall Sweeps Success | Call Letters, 1995

Award-Winning Copywriter “Lets Loose the Large” | UMSL Daily, 2012

Paul & Walt Inducted Into St. Louis Media Hall of Fame | Columbia Missourian, 2017

Walt Jaschek is a writer of comedy and copy for big brands. For his work creating funny, award-winning ad campaigns for the entertainment industry, he was inducted in 2018 into the St. Louis Media Hall of Fame. Declaring “I’m not history yet,” Walt is still writing funny daily.

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“Big Mistake” | Funny TV Campaign for Channel 4 St. Louis (1985)

St. Louis media history rediscovered! Here are KMOX-TV Channel 4’s “Big Mistake” commercials from 1985, alerting viewers to an error in TV Guide magazine. Writer/director: Paul Fey. Guy on camera: me! Yes, that’s me, Walt Jaschek, at a studio in KMOX-TV (St. Louis,) performing on-camera in 1985. I recently found these spots on 3/4″ tape, … Continue reading “Big Mistake” | Funny TV Campaign for Channel 4 St. Louis (1985)

Walt & Don Launch Boastess® Fructose Pies™

We needed a funny product for a funny comic we’re creating. The thought of emulating a certain sweet treat often featured in the comics of our youth? Delicious. Boastess® Fructose Pies™ There’s a sugar crash in every dash! Concept: Walt JaschekPackage design and copy: Don SecreaseStay tuned to see what we do with these! The … Continue reading Walt & Don Launch Boastess® Fructose Pies™

Hero Nots™

Are they heroes? Are they super? NOT. The new, reluctant team from writer Walt Jaschek and Walt Now Films now has its own site. Hi. Walt here. This is an excerpt from The Hero Nots screenplay I’m writing this Fall. Hope to wrap up the script in 2021, cast and shoot in 2022, post and … Continue reading Hero Nots™

Brett Hull Comic Books Remembered, Valued

“The Golden Adventures of Brett Hull” is an original, three-issue comic book series published in 1994 by The Patrick Company. This post describes its content, creation and value.

 

Beloved by collectors and St. Louis Blues hockey fans, these unique, full-color comic books were a joint promotion for McDonald’s, the Blues, and Coca-Cola benefitting the Ronald McDonald House.

Each issue of The Golden Adventures of Brett Hull sold for 99 cents with purchases of Value Meals at Midwest McDonald’s restaurants.

Star of the 3-part, science-fiction storyline is former St. Louis Blues star Brett Hull, now retired and a National Hockey League Hall-of-Famer. According to KSDK.com, Brett Hull was named by the Jack Buck Awards in 2020 as “The Top St. Louis Sports Personality in 50 years.”

Here are the three covers by the late St. Louis artist Bill Vann. More description and full credits are below.

autographed-bretthull-set

On eBay is this set of 3 issues with issue #3 autographed by creators Rick Burchett, Don Secrease and Walt Jaschek.

Appearing first: this rediscovered TV spot.

The existence of the comic book series was announced to comic book and hockey fans in 1994 with this thirty-second, live-action TV commercial starring Brett Hull, produced by the Patrick Company. Take a look to see Brett in futuristic hockey action versus the menacing “Dragoon,” emulating the feel and storyline of the comics themselves.

Top comic creators got involved.

St. Louis copywriter and comics writer Walt Jaschek was hired to craft the science-fiction-meets-hockey-action story arc and snappy dialogue for the series. Artists on the books included St. Louis comic book pros Don Secrease, Rick Burchett (as Jim Riley,) Bill Lux and Terry Hinkle. The individual stories were titled “Slap Shot to Destiny,” “Power Play: 2094” and “Sudden Death Overtime.”

Says Walt: “They didn’t call it ‘branded entertainment’ when I got the assignment to write ‘The Golden Adventures of Brett Hull.’ But oh-so-branded entertainment it was. I wrote the 3-part story, which sets then Blues star Brett Hull into a far-out future in search of his character and destiny. The in-story scenes of Brett eating McDonalds and enjoying a Coke were agency-inspired product placements.”

St. Lous writer and hockey fan Brock Hanke was brought in by Walt to help craft the intricate hockey/combat scenes, vividly depicted by the comic book artists, and everybody on the creative team was obviously having a grand time.

Here’s how comics.org sums up the plot of issue #1:

“St. Louis Blues right wing and team captain Brettt Hull makes a game-winning goal just seconds before the final horn. After a post-game interview he goes home and wonders what it will take to fill the empty space in his trophy case with hockey’s Stanley Cup. Later he is electronically observed preparing for the next game. During the game Hull takes a hit, falls to the ice out cold. He awakens to a menacing image of the Dragoon, which turns out to be a hologram. Wondering where he is, an unknown man tells him he is in the future – in the year 2094.”

Brett Hull hi-jinx ensues.

Credits
Golden Adventures of Brett Hull #1-3

Clients: McDonalds, Coca-Cola, St. Louis Blues
Agency: The Patrick Company

Creative Directors: Bob Hawthorne, Bill Kamper, The Patrick Company
Writers: Walt Jaschek (issues 1-3) and Brock Hanke (issue 2)
Art Director: Terry Hinkle, Hinkle & Company
Artists: Don Secrease, Rick Burchett (as Jim Riley,) Bill Lux, Bill Vann, Johnny’s Flying Mouse
Covers: Bill Vann

On eBay is this set of all 3 Brett Hull comics with issue #3 autographed by creators Rick Burchett, Don Secrease and Walt Jaschek.

Want your own comicbook series created by us?

Walt Jaschek
964 Claytonbrook Dr. 1-B
Ballwin, Mo 63011
USA

Send a message.


Walt Jaschek is a writer of comics, comedy and copy. For his work creating funny ad campaigns for the entertainment industry, he was inducted in 2018 into the St. Louis Media Hall of Fame. Declaring “I’m not history yet,” Walt is still writing away.

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Satin Brass™ Now on Kindle Vella

Walt serializes his new comic book script on the new Kindle Vella platform. It’s the pilot episode for action hero Satin Brass™, Overdue Accounts Collector. You can read the first three chapters for free on Kindle Vella. Then purchase tokens from Vella to unlock more chapters! Satin Brass is a high-tech bounty hunter in a … Continue reading Satin Brass™ Now on Kindle Vella

Walt “calls in” to St. Louis Media Hall of Fame Ceremony

The St. Louis Media History Foundation asked Walt to add some comedy to its 2021 Hall of Fame video. This “Zoom call” is the result. Congratulations to the new honorees in the St. Louis Media Hall of Fame, which due to The Current Situation is a video celebration only, archived on YouTube.Ken Ohlemeyer Jr., producer … Continue reading Walt “calls in” to St. Louis Media Hall of Fame Ceremony

How to Kill a Pitch: Comedy Short, Script by Walt

“How to Kill a Pitch” is a short ad biz satire written by Walt, directed by Angie Lawling, shot by Chris Lawling, produced by Mercury Films. Oh, creatives! Don’t fall on that sword over your favorite idea. Client not loving your latest idea? There’s another one, you know. Come up with it and live, damn it! … Continue reading How to Kill a Pitch: Comedy Short, Script by Walt

Picard Fans Shave Head for Love of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Get the look! The Jean-Luc look! Like Jean-Luc Picard, the bold, bald head of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Here is a funny, 1996 TV spot for the syndicated run of the beloved TV series, part of an promotion campaign aired on WCIX-TV, Channel 6 in Miami. It’s also the most-watched-ever video on my YouTube channel! Enjoy the spot, now captioned for your shaving pleasure.

:30 TV
“Shaving My Head”
For: Star Trek: the Next Generation
Client/Production: WCIX-TV
Campaign Concept and Writer: Walt Jaschek
Producer: Paul Fey
Agency: Paul & Walt Worldwide

The Script

[Star Trek music up]

V.O.: From Pembroke Pines…

GUY: I’m shaving my head!

V.O.: To South Beach…

ANOTHER GUY: I’m shaving my head!

V.O.: All over Miami, they’re shaving their heads! Like Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the bold, bald head of Star Trek: the Next Generation. Watch weeknights at 7 this Fall. And get the look!

DOG (barking while getting shaved:) BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

V.O. The Jean-Luc look! On Star Trek:The Next Generation. Every weeknight at 7 this Fall on Channel 6.

[Star Trek music out]

Reviews of Walt’s Copywriting Services

waltjaschek-showing-gratitude

Walt Jaschek has an attitude of gratitude: for many things (like the view from Bryce Canyon, Utah, above,) but especially for the kind recommendations for his copywriting and brainstorming services, as provided on LinkedIn.  Leave your own review there or in the comments below. Thanks!

Ramona Kristmann
Creative Director

When I have a client who REALLY needs to differentiate, I call on Walt Jaschek. He’s my “Go To” brand strategist/copywriter. Walt is masterful at helping to position brands and writing copy that communicates a brand or client company’s strategic difference.

Walt writes straight and powerful copy, that’s simple to read. He’s has a knack for making the complex seem simple.

Walt forces you to look at marketing communication through the eyes of a cartoon avatar, who represents your target audience. Then, he invites this cartoon avatar to join your meeting. Soon, you find they are actually sitting right there with you, as you discuss whether a marketing message is resonating. That’s the magic of Walt Jaschek. And, that’s why I partner with him whenever I can.

Bob Mogley
Sales & Marketing Professional

Walt Jaschek is the “Woody Allen of Advertising.” The guy’s in a league of his own. He gets it – and does it all. No matter whether you’ve known him for five years or five minutes: You’ll Want Walt.

Why? Because he gives your message meaning, he gets results and he genuinely loves what he does.

The man pours an incredible amount of passion, wit, creativity and direction into every project he touches…and it shows.

His work stretches across the country and I am no longer taken aback when I run into clients and associates who have either worked with Walt or know his work.

Meet with Walt and you will want him working with you, too.

Mike Whitney
Owner, Whitney Design Works LLC

Walt Jaschek is an extremely thoughtful and creative person. I’ve enjoyed working with him on freelance projects from the Arbor Group, but I’ve actually gotten to know him better through personal channels. He believes in starting at the beginning, which is almost always the best place to start. He feels that a tagline, if handled properly, is the “kernel” or “nugget” of the advertising message. According to him, if you have a great tagline, you’re well on your way to success. I would heartily recommend him for any project that requires a strong tagline, excellent writing, and/or great ideas. He is also a very ethical person, as well as totally likable.

Angie Lawing
Marketing Executive, Film/Video Producer

Walt Jaschek is an imaginative and dedicated storyteller with a keen eye (and hand) for writing comedy. He shared numerous scripts for a short film concept, and gave us plenty of humor in a variety of forms. Once we settled on one of his scripts, Walt helped champion the project in a collaborative, respectful and enthusiastic manner, from storyboards to filming and editing. He is generous with his time and sharp with his wit.

Mike Sneden
Owner, The Arbor Group

Walt Jaschek is a first rate, creative writer providing copy and concepts that are unique but spot-on to strategy. His word craft is second to none and he is a true collaborative spirit. I just wish I had enough projects to employ him continuously.

Mike Behr
Entrepreneur, Strategist, Innovator, Senior Marketing Executive

I’ve had the pleasure of working with Walt Jaschek for several years and on dozens of branding and marketing initiatives. Walt is brilliant as both a brand strategist and copywriter. He can quickly understand a client’s needs and value and package that succinctly into headlines, copy and brand statements.

Whether you need help with developing or better defining your brand, concepting a campaign, creating copy for broadcast, print or web, a sit down with Walt is the best place to start.

Doug Brooks
Owner, Marketing Management Group

I have used Walt Jaschek several times as a creative catalyst when our creative projects needed a spark. Our last project required us to turnaround creative concepts and final copy in two days. Walt was in our office for a brainstorm within 24 hours of my call. His ideas and execution wowed our client and ultimately helped earn us a new account and ongoing creative business. He was constantly available throughout the process and his work was outstanding. A true professional!

Dan Klein
Partner, Spoke Marketing

Simply put, when I grow up I want to be like Walt. Walt Jaschek is an idea guy… whatever you are thinking, he can turn it upside down and bring something new. Unlike a lot of idea guys though, he is organized… grounded in process… he is able to facilitate any discussion and bring it to a place you can act on the idea. Then – he can act. He will write it up and deliver it on time. If I could use Walt on every project… every project would be better for it.

David Meyer
Partner, Spoke Marketing

WARNING: do not hire Walt Jaschek unless you feel comfortable saying “Damn! I wish I’d thought of that!” While I do miss the mustache, Walt is passionate, creative and brings energy to every meeting; no exceptions.

The only thing I like better than working with Walt…is taking credit for his ideas.

Kristy “Tucc” (Bauer) Tucciarone, Ph.D
Program Chair and Professor, Lindenwood University

Hands down, Walt Jaschek gave the BEST presentation about Advertising Copywriting; In fact, he was the more informative speaker we have had all semester…heck, all year,” shared advertising students at UMSL. As the Professor of Advertising I constantly seek ad professionals who can tap the potential in students and make it come alive. Walt did exactly that. I recommend his presentation “Let Loose the Large” to all students studying advertising!! His work is engaging, fun, and effective.

Julie Taylor
Principal, Taylor Management Group

Walt Jaschek has a unique ability to bring a brand to life. Through the creative process, he uses his ability to bring together many seemingly disparate views into a brand story that creates awareness and increases client revenues.

Gabe Lozano
Founder and CEO, LockerDome

Walt Jaschek is one of top creatives in the marketing industry; he’s clever, original, and a true professional. It’s impossible to turn down a cup of coffee with this guy, as it’s simply fascinating to see his mind go to work.

Rod Patershuk
Owner, Noble Business Development

I recently signed up for the “Perfect Your Pitch” workshop with Walt Jaschek and Mike Behr. Our business is complicated for the common layman or even for the sophisticated investor; so we’ve had trouble switching audiences. Being heavily technical in nature our success has been fair with people who already have a knowledge base in our area. But we wanted more; to be better understood.

First and foremost Walt and Mike are professionals that understand the process. Through a deep conversation that flowed easily, they helped us get to the root of our issue. It wasn’t painful in the least and provided a great deal of clarity. There was no talking down to, or jargon; no preconceived notions or boxes to be put in. They provide a structured format, that’s flexible and can adapt to our needs. Both Mike and Walt are easy to talk to and very bright. They proved to be good listeners that really understand getting to the next steps. They have plenty of skill in taking difficult concepts and relaying them in way that’s more easily understood.

In the end we definitely got more than we bargained for and had a good time getting there. I’d highly recommend spending time with them to help you get to your goals faster.

Jeane Vogel
Executive Director, Webster Community Arts Foundation
Artist, Jeane Vogel Studios

Walt Jaschek is, by far, the most talented person I know. But talent comes at price. Sometimes it’s moodiness or quirkiness or just being hard to work with. The cost of working with Walt? Well, you have to contend with his amazing good humor, dry wit, exceptional creative mind and amazing results. Worst of all, you don’t get want you asked for: you get better!

Walt says: Thank you all, very, very much. I am sincerely grateful for your kind words and recommendations. If you want to add to them, I’ll graciously accept.

And I work every day to be worthy of them.

Home

Whiteboard With Walt for Better Brainstorms

walt-hand-whiteboarding

Let’s put our heads together and our hands to the board.

We can bake up new brand messaging, or tackle a tagline, or craft the perfect home page copy, or ideate a luscious live event, or concept a web series, or hurl out a whole lot of headlines. 

Together.

It’s a good change from writing solo, and I’ve seen it work spectacularly over the years. I come in, we conjure, you keep the ideas, I go put more money in the parking meter, everybody wins.

I can be engaged to lead ideation sessions, brainstorms and messaging meetings, or to participate in them; from one person to many; from a conference room to a couch in the lobby; from a single hour to a series of meetings strategically scheduled over days.

For most of them, I bring my “What Would Winona Want?” avatar-based brainstorm technique to guide you and your team through strategic ideation. Results: crystalized brand stories, unified messaging that ignites marketing campaigns, turns prospects into customers, and turns customers into brand advocates.

Recently I have led in-depth ideation sessions for Centene Corporation, Nurse Response, World Wide Wadio, Dovetail, 2e Creative, Spoke Marketing, MGM Management Group, Parkside Financial Bank and Trust, the Gateway Interactive Marketing Association, RBO Print Logistix, and for students at Webster University.

I have participated in them for CBS-TV, 20th Century Fox, Grey Goose Vodka, Dewar’s Scotch, SSM Health Care, Hodgson Mill and many, many world-class brands.

I am ready at the whiteboard.

Oh, sure, I might sniff the markers a little.

But that’s part of the fun.

waltnow-walltjaschek-whiteboard

Walt Jaschek invites contact.

"How To Kill a Pitch" | Short Film About Copywriting

Proudly created and posted on Walt’s beloved MacBook Air. Check current price on Amazon.

This short film, a satire of an ad pitch gone (really) wrong, was a winner in multiple film festivals. It was really our way of burning off a little steam from our time IN the ad biz. Warning: broad comic violence. Writer: Walt Jaschek. Director: Angie Lawling. Production: Mercury Films. Learn more about “How To Kill a Pitch” – including credits and the shooting script — here:

How to Kill a Pitch: Video Satirizing Ad Biz

And here’s Walt in a shot from the film:

Chuck Hart, Walt Jaschek and Allison Babka

Hear Patrick Stewart “Audition” for Role of Jean-Lunc Picard Star Trek: the Next Generation

Good news for Jean-Luc lovers: Patrick Stewart is returning to his role as Captain Picard, the bold, bald head of the Enterprise on the new CBS All Access series, “Star Trek: Picard.” (Try it free.)

To celebrate one of favorite actors revisiting one of our favorite characters, let’s listen again to “Auditions,” a classic Paul & Walt radio spot for “Star Trek: the Next Generation.” In it, we hear a director trying to find the right actor to inhabit Picard. It takes a few tries. Just think: we almost had Eddie Deezen as the Cap!

:30 Radio Script
“Auditions”
For: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Writer: Walt Jaschek

SFX: Harp glisten, to indicate a flashback

ANNOUNCER: We take you back now to the auditions for Star Trek: The Next Generation.

DIRECTOR (as if to assembled actors): Okay, people, today we are auditioning for the role of Captain Picard. Please read the line in the script. You, the guy in the bow tie?

NERDY GUY (as nerdy as can be): I am Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the Enterprise…

DIRECTOR (cutting him off): Thank you. You, sir, the next guy?

BAD ACTOR (clunky): I. am. Jean-Luc. Picard…

DIRECTOR (cutting him off): Thank you. Okay, you, sir, the bald guy?

PATRICK STEWART (in perfect Picard speak): I am Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the Enterprise.

DIRECTOR: Hmmm. Uh, bald guy?

PATRICK STEWART: Yes?

DIRECTOR: Do you get air sick at warp speed?

MUSIC: Star Trek theme, under

ANNOUNCER: Star Trek: the Next Generation. One hip starship! Weeknights at 7 on Channel 6

MUSIC OUT

See also:

This spot and script are included in my collection of funny, 30-second radio ad script examples.

And why, yes, we have an entire playlist of funny radio commercials. Thanks for asking.

I also have an eBook in development called How to Write Funny Radio Ads and Laugh Your Ads Off.

Funny radio. Love it. Live it. Laugh at it.

Content Writing: Making the Complex Simple

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“The best marketing doesn’t feel like marketing.” – Tom Fishburn, author of Your Ad Ignored Here.

Content. I’m quite content writing it. True, it’s not exactly  “copywriting,” my previous bread-and-butter, but it’s increasingly in demand as a smart way to promote brands as innovators and thought leaders. It also combines my training in journalism (college newspapers, freelance articles, etc.,) with my natural curiosity, and my insistence on making even the driest subjects info-taining. My mission, as I’ve chosen to accept it, is to make the complex simple.

Here’s where you can find some of my best content writing.

FOR BRANDS AND WEBSITES

Ginseng: A Virtual Drugstore | An interview with Dr. Laura Murphy

For: Sigma-Aldrich eZine. (By the way, every since I wrote this piece, I’ve been devoted to ginseng. Read the article to see why.)

DNA Breakthrough Over Dinner | An interview with Dr. Peggy Farnham

For: Sigma-Aldrich eZine. (One of the most complex topics I’ve ever tackled. This took a lot of coffee and long hours, but I’m happy with the results.)

FOR NEWS AND FEATURE SITES

Nerves of Steel: Competitive St. Louis Horseshoe Players and a Beloved Hall of Fame

Who knew the National Horseshoe Pitchers Hall of Fame was right here in the St. Louis area? I didn’t. But when the #STLMADE site assigned to write a story about it, I gave it my best throw. I pretended I was writing this feature for the front page of the Wall Street Journal.

Niche of Time: How John Clark and Masterclock Keep the World In Synch

My first feature story for the news and feature site TheStl.com, part of the #STLMade movement. (This 800-word article was crafted from an interview transcript of 45 single-space pages. It’s all about boilin’ it down.)

Not-So-Odd Couples: How A St. Louis Start-Up Matches Combines Millennials With Seniors For Mutual Benefit

“For Sally Lorino and Nagesh Khanvilkar, it was compatibility at first sight.” So begins my STLMADE story about Odd Couples Housing, an innovative St. Louis company focusing on housing solutions by mixing generations.

The Censored Doonsebury Comics of 1976: Revealed Again

For the University of Missouri – St. Louis Current. (An interview with editors at King Features and the St. Louis Post-Dispatch revealing how some “sexy” strips went unpublished.)

People Who Talk in Movie Theaters Target of H.U.S.H. (Help Us Silence Half-Wits)

For: Colorado Springs Sun. (My first published humor column for the Colorado Springs daily paper feature section, and a long-standing obsession.)

FOR MY OWN WEBSITES

How To Win Ad Awards Without Really Trying

My mini-memoir of my first year in the ad business, and how an unexpected (and appreciated) storm of creative awards put me somewhat reluctantly in the spotlight.

Channelling the Prospect: What Would Winona Want?

My article explaining my use of not-so-imaginary avatars in brainstorming and whiteboard sessions — and the important of simplicity. (Guest-starring Winona Ryder. Sort of.)

What Walt Jaschek Believes. And Doesn’t Believe.

A personal, comic manifesto — in list form. And speaking of lists:

11 Signs We’re Writing Too Many List Posts.

‘Nuff said.

See more Walt Jaschek content writing.

Walt Jaschek home.

Great Healthcare Hospital Advertising

“Best in Show” in the national Healthcare Advertising Awards, this rebranding campaign for Central Baptist Hospital expressed the health care brand’s combination of high-tech, high-touch.

Healthcare ads work better when the appeal is to the heart, not the head. That’s where we as patients and consumers make decisions.

The hospital wanted to advertise its new technological advances. Writer Walt Jaschek and client-agency Maring Weissman wanted to ensure those advances were communicated via their very human benefit, the one every single patient wants most: getting back home, healthy.

Walt wrote the new tagline, “This is Care,” then used the “this is” phrase as the structural basis for a series of print ads, TV spots, banner ads and outdoor boards. Here are are few of the print ads in the campaign, a series of double-page newspaper spreads. Credits below.

“Alan’s Heart”

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Headlines: “This is the machine that healed Alan’s heart.” / “This is Alan’s heart.”


Donna’s Life

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Headlines: “This is the CyberKnife™ that saved Donna’s life.” / “This is Donna’s life.”



“Steve’s Blood Flowing”

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Headlines: “This is the stroke-preventing device that keeps Steve’s blood flowing.” / “This is Steve’s blood flowing.” 



“Nathan”

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Headlines: “This is the monitor that keeps close tabs on Nathan.” / “This is Nathan.”


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The integrated “This is Care” campaign was extended into all media, including radio and television. Here’s “Alan’s Heart,” as seen on TV.

Client: Central Baptist Hospital
Agency: Maring Weissman
Writer: Walt Jaschek
Designers: Paul Maring, Chuck Hart
Creative Director: Paul Maring
TV production: Arbor Group

Walt Jaschek home