Funny Radio Ad | Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline

“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” is a 60-second funny radio commercial created for by writer Walt Jaschek and producer Paul Fey. It’s relatable comedy about self-incrimination.

The funny radio advert “Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” stars Stewart Sloke as someone very, very good at beating himself up. The premise of Walt Jaschek’s script is that the advertiser,, understands holiday stress so well, it has provided an outlet for relieving that stress. The dialogue demonstrates comedic, relatable self-criticism, but also provides a handy solution in the form of the advertiser’s services.

Here’s the spot and the script.

“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” | :60 Radio | Script by Walt Jaschek

SFX: Phone pick-up

HOTLINE WORKER: Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline.

CALLER (sheepish): Is this the Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline?

HOTLINE WORKER: Yes. sir, if you’d like to beat yourself up, this is the place to do it.

CALLER: Okay, I’d like to beat myself up now, please.

HOTLINE WORKER: Go right ahead when you’re ready.

CALLER (as if ready for this moment): [Ahem.] I am so stupid. I can’t believe how stupid I am. What an idiot. I left all my holiday shipping until the last minute again. Now it’s a huge hassle. Why do I have to do this to myself every year? When, oh when, will I learn?

HOTLINE WORKER (genuinely impressed): You beat yourself up very well, sir.

CALLER: Thanks.

HOTLINE WORKER: But maybe you should just go to


HOTLINE WORKER: Right. Type in your zip code, and tells you the fastest, easiest, most affordable ways to do your holiday shipping, even at the last minute.



CALLER (ramping up again): Why didn’t I think of that?


CALLER: Why do I have to have somebody else tell me what to do?


CALLER: When, oh when, will I ever have an original idea?


HOTLINE WORKER: You are really good at this, sir.

CALLER (beaming with pride): I’ve been told it’s a gift.

ANNOUNCER: The way smart shipping is done.

© Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved. If you want a commercial like this, contact us and we’ll craft one equally funny and memorable.

Listen to our entire playlist of funny radio commercials on YouTube.

Subscribe to Walt’s YouTube channel.

Published by

Walt Jaschek

Writer. Creator. Walt.

Leave a Reply