Tuesday, Nov. 26, is the birthday of the late, great Robert Goulet, American singer and orator. Hear this golden-throated icon read from “The Writings of Bart,” the collected, after-school blackboard writings of young Bart Simpson. (An icon himself.)
And, yes, this was part of the campaign we created to launch The Simpsons into worldwide TV syndication. Fun times!
“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” is a 60-second, funny radio commercial, written by Walt Jaschek and produced by Paul Fey for Smartship.com. It stars Stewart Sloke as a caller to the hotline; turns out he’s very, very good at beating himself up. This spot also provides a good copywriting example; the script is below the video. Listen and enjoy.
“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” | :60 Radio | Script by Walt Jaschek
HOTLINE WORKER: Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline.
CALLER: Is this Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline?
HOTLINE WORKER: Yes sir, if you’d like to beat yourself up, this is the place to do it.
CALLER: Okay, I’d like to beat myself up now, please.
HOTLINE WORKER: Go right ahead when you’re ready.
CALLER: [Ahem.] I am so stupid. I can’t believe how stupid I am. What an idiot. I left all my holiday shipping until the last minute again. Now it’s a huge hassle. Why do I have to do this to myself every year? When, oh when, will I learn?
HOTLINE WORKER (genuinely impressed): You beat yourself up very well sir.
CALLER: Thanks.
HOTLINE WORKER: But maybe you should just go to smartship.com.
CALLER: Smartship.com?
HOTLINE WORKER: Right. Type in your zip code, and smartship.com tells you the fastest, easiest, most affordable ways to do your holiday shipping, even at the last minute.
CALLER: Wow. Smartship.com
HOTLINE WORKER:Mmm-hmm.
CALLER: Why didn’t I like of that?
HOTLINE WORKER: Well…
CALLER: Why do I have to have somebody else tell me what to do?
HOTLINE WORKER: Sir…
CALLER: When, oh when, will I ever have an original idea?
HOTLINE WORKER: You are really good at this, sir.
CALLER: I’ve been told it’s a gift.
ANNOUNCER: Smartship.com. The way smart shipping is done.
© Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved. If you want a commercial like this, contact us and we’ll craft one equally funny and memorable.
Listen to our entire playlist of funny radio commercials on YouTube.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, “Good Copywriting Tips and Examples.”
“Viva La Volvo” is a 60-second radio commercial written by Walt Jaschek and produced by Paul Fey for the Southern California Dealers Association, and amusingly depicts a woman’s love and obsession with her Volvo. The spot won many ad industry awards and serves as a good example of funny radio copywriting. The production technique, energetic music cutting in and out of one-liners, has served Paul and Walt well over the years. Take a listen.
“Viva La Volvo” Script by Walt Jaschek
MUSIC: HORNS AND DRUM UP, SUDDENLY OUT
ELLEN: Friend of mine said he wanted to talk to me about my Volvo. I said, “Thank you — that’s between me and my gynocologist.”
MUSIC: HORNS AND DRUM UP, SUDDENLY OUT
ELLEN: He said, “No, no, your car — your Volvo 850 Turbo Sportswagon.” I said, “Oh, that. No, you can’t drive it.”
MUSIC: HORNS AND DRUM UP, SUDDENLY OUT
ELLEN: Oh, I love my Volvo. Sure, it’s safe, but, gee, just because driving on the freeways of Southern California is the equivalent of playing bumper cars at the speed of light, what kind of reason is that?
MUSIC: HORNS AND DRUM UP, SUDDENLY OUT
ELLEN: Volvos are still ultra-luxury imports. Sleek and gorgeous and loaded to here. Safe and sexy and… (BEAT) pardon me, I have to go hug my car now.
MUSIC: HORNS AND DRUM UP, UNDER
ANNOUNCER: Want safe AND sexy? Viva La Volvo! Test drive a Volvo at your Southern California Volvo dealer.
MUSIC: HORNS AND DRUM UP, SUDDENLY OUT
ELLEN: “Since when is safe sexy?,” another friend asked. “Hey,” I said, “what decade are YOU living in?”
MUSIC: HORNS AND DRUM RESOLVE INTO FINISH
© Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved. If you want a commercial like this, contact us and we’ll craft one equally funny and memorable.
Listen to our entire playlist of funny radio commercials on YouTube.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, “Great Copywriting Tips and Examples.”
“Missing Persons” is a funny radio commercial created by Paul & Walt Worldwide for the syndicated run of the TV series “Matlock” starring Andy Griffith. This spot, written by Walt Jaschek, produced and directed by Paul Fey, garnered many ad industry awards, including the Clio Award for “Best Radio Copywriting.” It stars voice talent Tom Poston and Harvey Atkin.
It’s also a good copywriting example. Here’s the script.
SFX: Telephone ring, followed by phone pick-up
TOUGH-TALKING COP: Missing Persons.
GOOFY GUY (phone filtered:) Missing Persons?
COP: Missing Persons.
GOOFY GUY: My wife is missing.
COP: Your wife is missing?
GOOFY GUY: My wife is missing.
COP: When did you last see her, sir?
GOOFY GUY: Four o’clock.
COP: Four o’clock?
GOOFY GUY: Four o’clock.
COP: Uh, where’s your TV, sir?
GOOFY GUY: The bedroom.
COP: Have you checked IN the bedroom, sir?
GOOFY GUY: No.
COP: She’s probably watching “Matlock!”
GOOFY GUY: “Matlock” is on at four o’clock?
STERN COP: Every weekday at four on Channel Two. Go check your bedroom, sir. I’ll wait.
GOOFY GUY: Okay.
[LONG SOUND FX STRETCH: Goofy guys puts down the phone. He walks down a hallway. He opens the bedroom door. We hear a few seconds of Matlock (“Your honor, I…”) The goofy guy closes the bedroom door. He walks back down the hallway. He picks up the phone.]
GOOFY GUY: Hello?
COP: I’m here.
GOOFY GUY: She’s watching “Matlock!”
COP: I thought so.
GOOFY GUY: I didn’t know “Matlock” was on at four o’clock.
COP: Every weekday at four on Channel Two.
GOOFY GUY: She really likes Andy Griffith!
COP: Of course she does.
GOOFY GUY: She was so busy watching “Matlock” that she forgot to tell me where she was!
COP: Tell her I understand.
GOOFY GUY: Okay.
SFX: The goofy guy puts down phone, walks down hallway again.
COP: Wait! I didn’t mean now! Sir? Sir?
SFX: Goofy guy opens bedroom door. Matlock is still playing.
GOOFY GUY: Hey! My favorite episode!
ANNOUNCER: “Matlock.” Weekdays at four on Channel Two. Because there’s nothing like a good mystery!
COP: I’m hanging up now sir. Sir?
© Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved. If you want a commercial like this, contact us and we’ll craft one equally funny and memorable.
Listen to our entire playlist of funny radio commercials on YouTube.
Subscribe to Walt’s YouTube channel.
Guys! Have you ever wanted to star in your own beer commercial? Well, now you can, thanks to this Budweiser radio spot that will “cue” you to say *YOUR NAME* during a very romantic scenario. So open a couple of long-necks and enjoy your “date” with a woman who is, evidently, “both a neurosurgeon AND a swimwear model.” We think you’ll do very well in your first commercial! Let us know how it goes.
Writer: Walt Jaschek | Producer/Director: Paul Fey | Agency: Paul & Walt Worldwide
Listen to our full playlist of funny radio commercials on You Tube.
Subscribe to Walt’s YouTube channel.
One of the first radio collaborations between Walt Jaschek and Paul Fey was this Clio-award-winning (“Best Use of Sound”) spot for George Schlatter’s Comedy Club, a King World TV series showcasing stand-up comics. When tasked with promoting the upcoming premiere, the duo had no access to clips. “Got no options, got no problems,” they said. No existing content freed them from using clips, and pushed their thinking. “What’s the real, human benefit of this kind of show?,” they asked, and came up with an answer: laughing out loud. The idea for “cataloging” types of laughter was born during a brainstorm on Walt’s front porch, but turning it into great audio fell to producer/director Paul, engineer Bill Schulenburg, and some very funny laughers from the L.A. talent pool. Tip: listen ’til the end.
Enjoy our entire playlist of funny radio commercials on YouTube.
