“Don’t Drink And Shop on Amazon” | A Short, Cautionary Video

Today on Walt Now: a true story of some late-night Amazon shopping that might have involved a glass of wine or two. Walt Jaschek unboxes a package that arrived unexpectedly – and shows us what was inside.

Walt Jaschek unboxes the unexpected.

Radio Ad Script | The Ballad of Judge Wapner | People’s Court

Grab your gavels for a big birthday: the late Judge Wapner would have turned 100 this month. It’s true. November 19, 2019 will mark the 100th anniversary of the birth of Joseph Albert Wapner, legendary TV judge and pop culture icon.

Britannica reminds us of his significance: “Born November 15, 1919, in Los Angeles, California. Died February 26, 2017, in Los Angeles. American jurist and TV personality who presided (1981–93) over The People’s Court, an immensely popular syndicated TV show in which plaintiffs and defendants from California small claims court argued their cases and accepted the judge’s ruling.”

Back in the early 90s, Paul Fey and I were creating (as Paul & Walt Worldwide) a lot of radio and TV content for King World, the show’s syndicator. When we were tasked with finding a fresh approach for promoting it, I wrote the script (below) for “The Ballad of Judge Wapner,” a funny, 60-second radio commercial celebrating what fans loved about the show.

Here it is, voiced by the late Lance LeGault. It’s now captioned with lyrics, also posted beneath.

Lyrics by Walt Jaschek

MUSIC: COWBOY BALLAD-STYLE, UNDER

COWBOY: He sits in judgment
He stands for the law
Kinda looks like a hero
And sounds like your Pa

BACK-UP SINGERS: WAPNER!

MUSIC: HARMONICA WAILS

COWBOY: He smiles and he laughs
His voice tinged with gravel
But the bad-guys just gasp
When he bangs his big gavel

BACK-UP SINGERS: WAPNER!

COWBOY: Judge Wapner.

BACK-UP SINGERS: JUDGE WAPNER!

HARMONICA WAILS

COWBOY: When neighbors brawl
When lovers refute
When suppliers and buyers and liars dispute 
Wapner won’t let those lawbooks get dusty 
Got a buddy named Doug
And a sidekick named Rusty

BACK-UP SINGERS: RUSTY!

COWBOY: With Wapner.

BACK-UP SINGERS: JUDGE WAPNER!

HARMONICA WAILS

COWBOY: Doesn’t do it from towers
Doesn’t do it from steeples
He does it in court
A court called “People’s”

ANNOUNCER: Judge Wapner rules on “The People’s Court”

BACK-UP SINGERS: SONG OVER!

COWBOY: Song over.

HARMONICA WAILS, OUT

Bonus! Here’s a :30 TV version of the ballad! What a 1990s flashback this is!

© Paul & Walt Worldwide

See also: 15 Funny Radio Commercials to Inspire More of the Same

Walt Jaschek is writer of comedy, comics and copy. Follow, like, comment!

Dang Gnats! In “Comic-Con, Ahoy! Wait…”

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See more Dang Gnats at

https://tapas.io/series/Dang-Gnats-Comics

Dang Gnats! in “Going to the Rodeo”

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Good reason.

See more Dang Gnats at
https://tapas.io/series/Dang-Gnats-Comics

Dang Gnats! in “What You Did in My Dream”

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Uh-oh.

See lots more Dang Gnats Comics at DangGnats.com

Randy Kopelwitz Rosebaum: A Sketch In Progress

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Randy Kopelwitz Rosenbaum was sitting on our patio. I say our patio, because Randy Kopelwitz Rosenbaum is my wife. She was impatient to go back inside and get back to work. So I couldn’t finish my sketch. That’s my Randy Kopelwitz Rosenbaum! I hope to get her to sit still so I can finish this one, or sit still so I can start a new one. P.S. I dig mechanical pencils.

Rinse and Spit: Comic For Dentists

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“Rinse and Spit” Comic Strip @ WaltNow.com

“Rinse and Spit” by Walt Jaschek and Chuck Hart is a comic strip portraying a funny scene involving the dental staff and a typically difficult patient whose discomfort is greatly exaggerated.

The backsory from Walt:

My buddy, St. Louis illustrator Chuck Hart, saw an ad from a trade magazine for dentists and dental staff, seeking a comic strip about “daily life in the dental office.” I suggested “Rinse & Spit,” and wrote sample strips. Chuck drew this one as the pilot. Still waiting for word from the dental mag. Come on, this strip could go on as long as a root canal.

Walt Jaschek

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The Superman V. Batman Dr. Pepper Display: My Reaction

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Photo by Randy Rosenbaum