“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” | Funny Radio Commercial & Good Copywriting Example

Copywriting Examples, Humor Writing, Radio Commercials

“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” is a 60-second, funny radio commercial, written by Walt Jaschek and produced by Paul Fey for Smartship.com. It stars Stewart Sloke as a caller to the hotline; turns out he’s very, very good at beating himself up. This spot also provides a good copywriting example; the script is below the video. Listen and enjoy.

Can you beat yourself up as well as THIS guy?

“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” | :60 Radio | Script by Walt Jaschek

HOTLINE WORKER: Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline.

CALLER: Is this Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline?

HOTLINE WORKER: Yes sir, if you’d like to beat yourself up, this is the place to do it.

CALLER: Okay, I’d like to beat myself up now, please.

HOTLINE WORKER: Go right ahead when you’re ready.

CALLER: [Ahem.] I am so stupid. I can’t believe how stupid I am. What an idiot. I left all my holiday shipping until the last minute again. Now it’s a huge hassle. Why do I have to do this to myself every year? When, oh when, will I learn?

HOTLINE WORKER (genuinely impressed): You beat yourself up very well sir.

CALLER: Thanks.

HOTLINE WORKER: But maybe you should just go to smartship.com.

CALLER: Smartship.com?

HOTLINE WORKER: Right. Type in your zip code, and smartship.com tells you the fastest, easiest, most affordable ways to do your holiday shipping, even at the last minute.

CALLER: Wow. Smartship.com

HOTLINE WORKER:Mmm-hmm.

CALLER: Why didn’t I like of that?

HOTLINE WORKER: Well…

CALLER: Why do I have to have somebody else tell me what to do?

HOTLINE WORKER: Sir…

CALLER: When, oh when, will I ever have an original idea?

HOTLINE WORKER: You are really good at this, sir.

CALLER: I’ve been told it’s a gift.

ANNOUNCER: Smartship.com. The way smart shipping is done.

© Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved. If you want a commercial like this, contact us and we’ll craft one equally funny and memorable.

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“Missing Persons” | Funny, Clio-Award-Winning Radio Ad for “Matlock” (Good Copywriting Example)

Award-Winning, Copywriting Examples, Humor Writing, Radio Commercials

“Missing Persons” is a funny radio commercial created by Paul & Walt Worldwide for the syndicated run of the TV series “Matlock” starring Andy Griffith. This spot, written by Walt Jaschek, produced and directed by Paul Fey, garnered many ad industry awards, including the Clio Award for “Best Radio Copywriting.” It stars voice talent Tom Poston and Harvey Atkin.

Click and enjoy!

It’s also a good copywriting example. Here’s the script.

“Missing Persons”
:60 Radio
Script by Walt Jaschek

SFX: Telephone ring, followed by phone pick-up

TOUGH-TALKING COP: Missing Persons.

GOOFY GUY (phone filtered:) Missing Persons?

COP: Missing Persons.

GOOFY GUY: My wife is missing.

COP: Your wife is missing?

GOOFY GUY: My wife is missing.

COP: When did you last see her, sir?

GOOFY GUY: Four o’clock.

COP: Four o’clock?

GOOFY GUY: Four o’clock.

COP: Uh, where’s your TV, sir?

GOOFY GUY: The bedroom.

COP: Have you checked IN the bedroom, sir?

GOOFY GUY: No.

COP: She’s probably watching “Matlock!”

GOOFY GUY: “Matlock” is on at four o’clock?

STERN COP: Every weekday at four on Channel Two. Go check your bedroom, sir. I’ll wait.

GOOFY GUY: Okay.

[LONG SOUND FX STRETCH: Goofy guys puts down the phone. He walks down a hallway. He opens the bedroom door. We hear a few seconds of Matlock (“Your honor, I…”) The goofy guy closes the bedroom door. He walks back down the hallway. He picks up the phone.]

GOOFY GUY: Hello?

COP: I’m here.

GOOFY GUY: She’s watching “Matlock!”

COP: I thought so.

GOOFY GUY: I didn’t know “Matlock” was on at four o’clock.

COP: Every weekday at four on Channel Two.

GOOFY GUY: She really likes Andy Griffith!

COP: Of course she does.

GOOFY GUY: She was so busy watching “Matlock” that she forgot to tell me where she was!

COP: Tell her I understand.

GOOFY GUY: Okay.

SFX: The goofy guy puts down phone, walks down hallway again.

COP: Wait! I didn’t mean now! Sir? Sir?

SFX: Goofy guy opens bedroom door. Matlock is still playing.

GOOFY GUY: Hey! My favorite episode!

ANNOUNCER: “Matlock.” Weekdays at four on Channel Two. Because there’s nothing like a good mystery!

COP: I’m hanging up now sir. Sir?

© Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved. If you want a commercial like this, contact us and we’ll craft one equally funny and memorable.

Listen to our entire playlist of funny radio commercials on YouTube.

Subscribe to Walt’s YouTube channel.