“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” is a 60-second, funny radio commercial, written by Walt Jaschek and produced by Paul Fey for Smartship.com. It stars Stewart Sloke as a caller to the hotline; turns out he’s very, very good at beating himself up. This spot also provides a good copywriting example; the script is below the video. Listen and enjoy.
“Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline” | :60 Radio | Script by Walt Jaschek
HOTLINE WORKER: Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline.
CALLER: Is this Beat-Yourself-Up Hotline?
HOTLINE WORKER: Yes sir, if you’d like to beat yourself up, this is the place to do it.
CALLER: Okay, I’d like to beat myself up now, please.
HOTLINE WORKER: Go right ahead when you’re ready.
CALLER: [Ahem.] I am so stupid. I can’t believe how stupid I am. What an idiot. I left all my holiday shipping until the last minute again. Now it’s a huge hassle. Why do I have to do this to myself every year? When, oh when, will I learn?
HOTLINE WORKER (genuinely impressed): You beat yourself up very well sir.
CALLER: Thanks.
HOTLINE WORKER: But maybe you should just go to smartship.com.
CALLER: Smartship.com?
HOTLINE WORKER: Right. Type in your zip code, and smartship.com tells you the fastest, easiest, most affordable ways to do your holiday shipping, even at the last minute.
CALLER: Wow. Smartship.com
HOTLINE WORKER:Mmm-hmm.
CALLER: Why didn’t I like of that?
HOTLINE WORKER: Well…
CALLER: Why do I have to have somebody else tell me what to do?
HOTLINE WORKER: Sir…
CALLER: When, oh when, will I ever have an original idea?
HOTLINE WORKER: You are really good at this, sir.
CALLER: I’ve been told it’s a gift.
ANNOUNCER: Smartship.com. The way smart shipping is done.
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