Radio Ad Script | “Missing Persons” for Matlock

This funny radio ad for the TV series “Matlock” was written by Walt Jaschek, and produced by Paul Fey. The spot garnered advertising’s Clio Award for “Best Radio Copywriting.” It stars Tom Poston, Harvey Atkin and Orson Bean.

Click and enjoy!

“Missing Persons”
:60 Radio
Script by Walt Jaschek

SFX: Telephone ring, followed by phone pick-up. “Dragnet”-style staccato dialogue ensues.

TOUGH-TALKING COP: Missing Persons.

GOOFY CALLER (phone filtered:) Missing Persons?

COP: Missing Persons.

CALLER: My wife is missing!

COP: Your wife is missing?

CALLER: My wife is missing.

COP: When did you last see her, sir?

CALLER: Four o’clock.

COP: Four o’clock?

CALLER: Four o’clock.

COP: Uh, where’s your TV, sir?

CALLER: The bedroom.

COP: Have you checked IN the bedroom, sir?

CALLER: No.

COP: She’s probably watching “Matlock!”

CALLER: “Matlock” is on at four o’clock?

COP: Every weekday at four on Channel Two. Go check your bedroom, sir. I’ll wait.

CALLER: Okay.

[LONG SOUND FX STRETCH: Caller puts down the phone. He walks down a hallway. He opens the bedroom door. We hear a few seconds of Matlock (“Your honor, I…”) The caller closes the bedroom door. He walks back down the hallway. He picks up the phone.]

CALLER: Hello?

COP: I’m here.

CALLER: She’s watching “Matlock!”

COP: I thought so.

CALLER: I didn’t know “Matlock” was on at four o’clock.

CALLER: Every weekday at four on Channel Two.

CALLER: She really likes Andy Griffith!

COP: Of course she does.

CALLER: She was so busy watching “Matlock,” she forgot to tell me where she was!

COP: Tell her I understand.

CALLER: Okay.

SFX: The caller puts down phone, walks down hallway again.


COP: Wait! I didn’t mean now! Sir? Sir?

SFX: Caller opens bedroom door. Matlock is still playing.

CALLER: Hey! My favorite episode!

ANNOUNCER: “Matlock.” Weekdays at four on Channel Two. Because there’s nothing like a good mystery!

COP: I’m hanging up now sir. Sir?

FADE OUT

© Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved. If you want a commercial like this, contact us.

See also:

14 Funny Radio Ads to Inspire More of the Same

30-Second Radio Ad Script Examples

Walt’s YouTube Channel of Funny Radio

Please comment!

Radio Ad Script | “Laugh Catalog”

One of the first radio collaborations between Walt Jaschek and Paul Fey was this Clio-award-winning spot (“Best Use of Sound”) for George Schlatter’s Comedy Club, a King World TV series showcasing stand-up comics.

When tasked with promoting the upcoming premiere, the duo had no access to clips. “Got no options, got no problems,” they said. No existing content freed them from using clips, and pushed their thinking. “What’s the real, human benefit of this kind of show?,” they asked, and came up with an answer: laughing out loud. The idea for “cataloging” types of laughter was born during a brainstorm on Walt’s front porch, but turning it into great audio fell to producer/director Paul, engineer Bill Schulenburg, and some very funny laughers from the L.A. talent pool. Tip: listen ’til the end.

The script to this spot (read it below) was featured in the book about funny radio commercials, And Now a Few Laughs from Our Sponsors #ad.

RADIO AD SCRIPT
“Laugh Catalog”
:60

MUSIC: Dignified piano, under

PROFESSOR (as if reciting types of laughter in a slide presentation:)
Number Seventeen. The Chuckle.

SFX: A MAN CHUCKLING

PROFESSOR: Number Twenty-Two. The Giggle.

SFX: A WOMAN GIGGLING

PROFESSOR: Number Forty-Nine. The Chortle.

SFX: A WOMAN CHORTLING

PROFESSOR. Number Fifty-Six. The Snort.

SFX: A WOMAN SNORTING

PROFESSOR: Number Sixty-One. The Nasal Burst.

SFX: A MAN NASAL BURSTING

PROFESSOR: Number Sixty-Two. The Sputtering Burst.

SFX: A MAN SPUTTERING THEN NASAL BURSTING

PROFESSOR: Number Seventy-Four. The Cackle.

SFX: A WOMAN CACKLING

ANNOUNCER: The proceeding laughter was brought to you by George Schlatter’s Comedy Club, the new TV show featuring the freshest faces in stand-up comedy.

PROFESSOR: Number One Hundred and Seventeen. The Guffaw.

SFX: A MAN GUFFAWING

PROFESSOR: Number One Hundred and Seventeen “A.” The Guffaw with Wheeze.

SFX: A MAN GUFFAWING, THEN ADDING THE PERFECT WHEEZE

ANNOUNCER: George Schlatter’s Comedy Club. From the creator of Laugh-In.

SFX: GUFFAWING CONTINUES AND FADES OUT WITH MUSIC

© Writers Walt Jaschek and Paul Fey

See also:

15 funny radio commercials to inspire more of the same.

30-second radio ad script examples.

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