Funny, 30-Second Radio Ad Script Examples: Laugh Ads Off

Looking for funny, 30-second radio ad script examples? Laugh your ads off! Here are six scripts from my portfolio, along with the final, produced spots for comparison.

Hi. I’m Walt Jaschek, and I’ve been writing radio ad scripts for 40 years, which is amazing, considering I’m only 33. Kidding. I started when I was 24. You can do that math.

This site has lots of radio spots I’ve written or co-written; many of them funny, many of them award-winning. There are 15 of of them detailed in this companion post. Most of them, almost entirely produced and directed by Paul Fey of World Wide Wadio, are also back-to-back in this compilation video, which allows you to just click, sit back and let your ears enjoy.

Culled from that longer set are the below 30-second spots, with scripts, so you can see and hear how I as writer or co-writer communicated to clients and collaborators how the final spots should “sound.”

As I advise in my post Write Funny Radio and Laugh Your Ads Off, that’s your first, most important job as a writer of radio: to make a reader – a client, for example, or an actor, an engineer – “hear” the commercial in his or her head.

Yes, a successful radio spot owes collaborative contributions from the producer. Director. Engineer. Sound designer. Voice talent. And clients courageous enough to do something beyond the boring ordinary.

But it all starts with the script.

This post proudly created on Walt’s beloved MacBook Air. Check current price on Amazon.

Funny, 30-Second Radio Ad Script #1

“Auditions”
for Star Trek: The Next Generation

SFX: Harp glisten, to indicate a flashback

ANNOUNCER: We take you back now to the auditions for Star Trek: The Next Generation.

DIRECTOR (as if to assembled actors): Okay, people, today we are auditioning for the role of Captain Picard. Please read the line in the script. You, the guy in the bow tie?

NERDY GUY (as nerdy as can be): I am Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the Enterprise…

DIRECTOR (cutting him off): Thank you. You, sir, the next guy?

BAD ACTOR (clunky): I. am. Jean-Luc. Picard…

DIRECTOR (cutting him off): Thank you. Okay, you, sir, the bald guy?

PATRICK STEWART (in perfect Picard speak): I am Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the Enterprise.

DIRECTOR: Hmmm. Uh, bald guy?

PATRICK STEWART: Yes?

DIRECTOR: Do you get air sick at warp speed?

MUSIC: Star Trek theme, under

ANNOUNCER: Star Trek: the Next Generation. One hip starship! Weeknights at 7 on Channel 6

MUSIC OUT

Funny, 30-Second Ad Script Example #2

Title: “Magnesium And Phospherous”
For: Big Bang Theory

ANNOUNCER (urgent:) Magnesium burns at 2,474 degrees Kelvin.

SOUND FX: Chemicals burning in a lab’s bunsen burner

ANNOUNCER: Phosphorus burns at 3,333 degrees Kelvin.

SOUND FX: Chemicals burning in a lab

ANNOUNCER: And Sheldon Cooper burns… five nights a week.

SHELDON COOPER: You bowl like your Mama… unless of course she bowls well… in which you bowl nothing like her!

SFX: AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

ANNOUNCER: Ouch! On The Big Bang Theory, you draw Sheldon’s fire… you’re gonna get burned!

SHELDON COOPER: That’s what I call a burn on you!

SFX: AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

MUSIC: BIg Bang theme, under

ANNOUNCER: The Big Bang Theory. Five nights a week.

[:05 local TV station tag]

Funny, 30-Second Ad Script Example #3

Listen to the recorded spot and compare it to the script.

Title: “Vibrating Water Bed”
For: Jeopardy

LAVERNE (seductively): Oh, Larry…

LARRY: I’m watching Jeopardy, LaVerne.

LAVERNE: It’s our honeymoon…

LARRY: All this week, it’s the first round of the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions!

LAVERNE: We have this waterbed…

LARRY: This is primo Jeopardy action! The champ wins a hundred grand!

SOUND FX: VIBRATING WATER BED TURNED ON

LAVERNE (her voice vibrating, too): It’s a vibrating water bed…

LARRY: Sorry, LaVerne! The Tournament of Champions!

LAVERNE (resigned, but her voice still vibrating): Okay..ay..ay..

MUSIC: END OF “JEOPARDY” THEME, UNDER

ANNOUNCER: Jeopardy. Any questions?

LAVERNE (her voice still vibrating): Yeah! How do you turn this thing off?

JEOPARDY THEME CONCLUDES UNDER LOCAL TAG

Funny, 30-Second Radio Ad Script Example #4

Listen to the finished spot and compare it to the script.

Title: “Put Your Tongue on the Radio”
For: Gene Simmons Family Jewels

ANNOUNCER: Put your tongue on the radio. (beat) Wait, that might be a little tingly. Ahem. Don’t put your tongue on the radio. But do stick your tongue out. That’s right. Keep going. There. Wow, you have a long tongue! Congrats! But it’s all relative, baby, because, you have a teeny-weenie tongue compared to…

GENE SIMMONS: I’m Gene Simmons. Rock God.

SFX: CROWD CHEERS

MUSIC: ROCK KICKS IN

ANNOUNCER: It’s the rock-meets-reality show that licks ‘em all! Gene Simmons Family Jewels – Season 2 premiere! Starring the man who has more talent than you can shake a tongue at.

GENE SIMMONS: Precisely.

ANNOUNCER: Gene Simmons Family Jewels. A&E Sunday. Oh:

MUSIC: OUT

ANNOUNCER: Please put your tongue back in. The guy is the van is staring.

Funny, 30-second Ad Script Example #5

Listen and compare the finished spot to the script.

Title: “I’m Shaving My Head!”
For: Star: Trek the Next Generation.

MUSIC: STAR TREK THEME MUSIC, UNDER

ANNOUNCER: All over Miami, they’re shaving their heads!

YOUNG MAN (enthusiastically): I’m shaving my head!

SOUND FX: ELECTRIC HAIR CLIPPERS, MOVING FROM LEFT STEREO CHANNEL TO RIGHT

ANNOUNCER: Throughout the entire Channel 6 viewing area, they’re shaving their heads!

YOUNG WOMAN (enthusiastically): I’m shaving my head!

SOUND FX: ELECTRIC HAIR CLIPPERS

ANNOUNCER: They’re going for… The Jean-Luc Look!

YOUNG COUPLE (simultaneously): We’re shaving our heads!

SOUND FX: ELECTRIC HAIR CLIPPERS

ANNOUNCER: Like Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the bold, bald head of “Star Trek: the Next Generation,” weekdays at four on Channell Six. Get the look!

OLD, FUNNY GEEZER GUY (enthusiastically): I’m shavin’ my head!

ANNOUNCER: The Jean-Luc Look! On “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” Weekdays at four on Channel 6.

MUSIC: THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES WITH A FLOURISH

Watch “Star Trek: Picard” for free on CBS All Access

Funny, 30-second Radio Ad Script Example #6

Listen to the spot and compare it to the script.

Title: “Millions of Americans”
For: American Optometric Association

ANNOUNCER: We have with us in the studio millions of Americans. Millions, welcome.

HUGE THRONG (multiple layered voices, as if a “million” people were speaking simultaneously): NICE TO BE HERE.

ANNOUNCER: We’re asking millions of Americans to get their children’s eyes examined once a year.

HUGE THRONG: ONCE A YEAR?

ANNOUNCER: Right! All in favor of annual eye exams for children three and up, say “Aye!”

HUGE THRONG: AYE!

ANNOUNCER: Say, “Eye care means you care.”

HUGE THRONG: “EYE CARE MEANS YOU CARE.”

ANNOUNCER: Say, “Sally sells sea shells by the seashore.”

HUGE THRONG (getting the tongue twister wrong:) SALLY SHELLS SHE SELLS…

ANNOUNCER: Gotcha!

HUGE THRONG (sheepish): …BY THE SHE-SORE.

ANNOUNCER: A public service message from the American Optometric Association.

Scripts © Walt Jaschek. Spots © Paul & Walt Worldwide. All rights reserved. Want new funny radio scripts written? Contact Walt!

See also: 15 Funny Radio Ads To Inspire More of the Same

How to Write Funny Radio Scripts & Laugh Your Ads Off

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